What is Pride About?

Posted on 29 June 2010 by christao408

Near the end of June each year, parades are held in cities throughout the US and elsewhere in the world to celebrate gay pride. These marches began as a commemoration of the Stonewall Riots on June 28, 1969, in which patrons of a gay bar in New York City rioted in response to a police raid and continued harassment. Originally these parades were knows as “gay freedom” or “gay liberation” marches, although over the last four decades they have come to be known more general as “Gay Pride”.

Pictures and stories in the media tend to focus on the most titillating aspects of the parade: the “Dykes on Bykes,” the naked or nearly-naked revelers, the fabulous drag queens, etc. With a mixture of confusion and derision, many in the heterosexual community (and even a few in the gay community) don’t understand what these events are about and the displays of outrageousness provoke the common refrain that gays should just “keep it to themselves” instead of “flaunting it”.

In fact, a recent post on the front page of Xanga asked the question, “Why Gay Pride?” Many of the responses echoed the themes of those who don’t understand what Pride is and its importance to members of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered (GLBT) community.

Let me share with you my answer to the question, “What is Pride about?”

Growing up gay is, more than anything, about invisibility. You don’t see anyone like you, you have nobody to confide in, and you often don’t realize that you are not alone in your attraction to members of the same sex. This invisibility is debilitating and while there are many more examples of GLBT people in the media and in everyday life than there were a few decades ago, hundreds of thousands of young people around the world who are GLBT or questioning, continue to grow up feeling invisible.

A friend I interviewed in a university project shared this story with me: Growing up in a large immigrant family, he was convinced that his homosexual feelings were an illness, a sickness that only he had ever experienced. He kept this secret buried deep inside and it was taking a toll on his health, his studies, and his wellbeing. One weekend in June he took the subway into the city to do some shopping and as he emerged from underground, he found himself in the middle of a large parade. As he stopped to watch, he had a dawning awareness that all of the people at the parade were just like him. Suddenly he realized that he wasn’t alone, that there was a huge, colorful, and proud community of others who felt they same way he did. Needless to say, it was a life-altering and possibly even life-saving event for him.

Why the drag queens? Why the blatantly sexuality? The media loves to focus on the things that are most outrageous and that will make the best photos and headlines. But these members of the GLBT community play an important role in Pride. The Stonewall Inn, the gay bar whose raid led to the Stonewall Riots, was frequented primarily by the most marginalized members of the gay community: the drag queens, transvestites, transgendered people, and effeminate men.

They were the ones who led the riots against the police, fighting back against years of abuse and oppression. Embracing this outrageousness is a way to remember that it was the most outrageous members of the GLBT community who first stood up for all of our rights. Plus, what’s a parade without some frivolity?

In my mind, the most important and most prideful parts of Gay Pride events are the contingents of GLBT families, friends, and straight allies, a representation of every stripe of the larger community, fulfilling the promise in the Gay Pride symbol, which is the rainbow flag. Is the man above a gay father? The brother of a gay sibling? The son of a gay parent? The friend of a gay person? Or just a member of the larger community who wants his daughter to appreciate the breadth of diversity in their community and to learn to respect each member of it?

We don’t know the answer to that question but the fact that there are so many possible answers tells every person who is still in the closet, who is still struggling with his or her invisibility, that he or she is not alone. And that, for me, is what Gay Pride is really about.

Ugly Farang

Posted on 12 April 2010 by christao408

There is a small soi (alley) in Krungthep (Bangkok) called Soi Cowboy. It is a privately owned street that is lined with bars. In addition to a drink, you can buy true love there, or at least the kind that lasts thirty minutes of an hour. This is hardly the only street in Krungthep – or the rest of the world – that is like this, but it remains an example of one of the more negative stereotypes that people have about the capital of Thailand.

From my perspective, though, Soi Cowboy and other similar corners of this town are less about the services offered by the locals and are instead more about the behavior of the visitors. Without demand there would be no supply. And what ugly demand it is, too.

Walking by Soi Cowboy on my way to an appointment with my Thai tutor, this was the scene I saw:

I think the problem is more than adequately captured in the sideways glance the motorcycle driver is giving them. Inappropriately dressed, these guys are the epitome of what’s wrong with farang. Ugh…

Then Why the *#%! Did You Decide to Learn It?

Posted on 27 February 2010 by christao408

Thursday afternoon I was chatting with Khruu Kitiya (“Khruu” = “Teacher”), my Thai tutor, and she told me about her other job. While she has a few private students like me, her primary job is working at one of the ubiquitous Thai language schools here in Krungthep. As Khruu Kitiya explained, her Level 3 class, the one in which writing and reading Thai is first introduced, has been giving her trouble. Of the six students from six different countries, one of them is proving to be difficult.

It seems that there is always at least one in every class. He (almost always, it is a “he”) asks too many questions, leads the conversation down rabbit trails, and is always demanding the teacher justify why the language is the way it is. As near as I can tell from my own experience, it is the analytical types (yes, you engineers!) who seem to have the most trouble just letting go and accepting that there are some things in this world – and particularly some things in languages – that just don’t have a rational explanation. They are called the exceptions to the rules.

In this case, Khruu Kitiya’s one student spent a half-hour debating with her during class about why the Thai government should just march right in (between coups) and fix all the problems with the language. Those unarticulated consonants? Get rid of them! Those confusing spellings that come from Sanskrit? Change them! He wanted to know why, if the language had these “problems,” someone didn’t fix them.

Khruu Kitiya, with extraordinary patience that is characteristic of the Thais, tried to explain that even if the government wanted to change the language, they couldn’t. The language is a deep part of the Thai people’s culture and it is the way it is because it is a reflection of the many cultures and people who eventually became a part of the country. (In fact, as a historical side note, the Thai government has tried to change the language before under the military leader Field Marshal Pibulsonggram during the World War II era. The changes did not stick.)

The student used the analogy of an old sofa. If you had an old sofa in your house and you knew it no longer was useful, why wouldn’t you just through it out? Needless to say, Khruu Kitiya was not won over by that analogy.

What I don’t understand is why someone would come to a country and choose to study the language if he or she was not prepared to accept it on its own terms. Why would someone be so arrogant as to think that his or her perspective on what was “right” or “wrong” for another language was superior to the way the language already is?

While Khruu Kitiya wanted to remain non-confrontational, I encouraged her to ask the student next time – in a friendly and non-confrontational way – whether in his country (Italy) it is considered polite to go into someone else’s house and criticize their furniture. She could explain that in Thailand, one doesn’t go into a house as a guest and then suggest the sofa be thrown out.

Anyhow, this is the type of thing that keeps me from hanging out with many expats. Whether it be the language or a dozen other things, there are many people who seem to lack any understanding of how to appreciate the culture they have chosen to live in.

Concert in Lumpini Park

Posted on 22 February 2010 by christao408

A few Sundays ago, Jason and Ben invited me to join them for the second to the last concert in the Bangkok Symphony Orchestra’s annual winter Concert in the Park series. While you would never think that the weather here, even in winter, is cool enough to enjoy an outdoor concert, it was actually the perfect event.

Located in Lumpini Park, the closest thing we have to a central park, the full symphony orchestra performed to a crowd of more than 1,000 picnickers. Spread out on rental mats, lawn chairs, and blankets, the audience enjoyed the pleasant after-sunset breezes and moderate temperatures of about 80 F / 28 C. Not too bad.

Jason and Ben own a little cafe called Kiosk and borrowed the beanbags and ice chest from the cafe, packing quite a spread. Prosciutto and melon, cheese and crackers, fruits and salami, nuts and spreads – we were well satisfied.

Ever stylish, Ben and Jason (and their friend Zenya – in red pants) artfully arranged our spread. The one drawback of the event, one we worked around, is that the Bangkok Metropolitan Authority prohibits the consumption of alcohol inside city parks. Now, I can understand not wanting winos wandering around drunk but a nice bottle of bubbly goes so well with al fresco music.

Security guards were keeping an eagle eye out for violators, confiscating any alcohol (which they no doubt later consumed for themselves). We got around it by keeping the bottles in the cooler and discreetly pouring the glasses inside the cooler, too. Nothing could ever be seen outside the cooler except our paper cups of “apple juice” and “white grape juice”. Ha ha…

Thank you to Ben and Jason for their invitation and lovely hosting.

God has given you the face of a lucky man – Epilogue Added

Posted on 8 February 2010 by christao408

Epilogue Below – Tawn had an interesting experience on Monday as the same man approached him. Read below the original entry for the rest of this funny story.

Original entry Sunday February 7:

“God has given you the face of a man blessed with good luck and happiness,” the Indian man said to me as I sat in Starbucks. “It is this face that called me to you. I am a yoga holy man and God wanted me to speak with you.”

I swear, the strangest things happen to me.

Friday afternoon, after meeting briefly with my accountant to hand off some documents, I was sipping a coffee in the Ploenchit Center Starbucks. There were no other customers in the glass-walled store, unusual given that it was the lunch hour and the store is located in the midst of the business district.

An Indian man, dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and jeans and looking as much like a computer programmer as anything else, came up to me. This was not the first time I had been approached by foreigners while drinking my coffee. Fifteen minutes earlier, a British couple, retired and wearing their safari shorts and hats, asked me if I knew where they could find free wi-fi. My aura must radiate the words “ask me”.

So when the Indian man approached me, I figured he, too must have a question needing answering.

“God has given you the face of a man blessed with good luck and happiness,” the Indian man said to me. Instinctively, I thought about where my wallet and passport were and made sure I had a clear line-of-sight to my messenger bag.

“It is this face that called me to you,” he explained. ” I am a yoga holy man traveling on a journey and God wanted me to speak with you.”

Skeptical, I listed to him, curious how this scam would unfold. He explained that he was a yoga practitioner from India, showed me a picture of his guru, and told me that my face radiated happiness and good fortune. He proceeded to explain that despite this good fortune and happiness, that I thought too much and became needlessly engrossed in my thoughts. Oh, and I am sometimes too direct and honest with my friends.

He asked my name. “David,” I lied. Where are you from? “Canada,” I lied again.

“I will prove to you that God has sent me to you,” he said, pulling out several small sheets of paper and a pen. I noticed that instead of selecting just a single sheet upon which to write, he kept them stacked.

“I am going to write something on this piece of paper and then I will give it to you to hold.” He scribbled on the paper then folded it into a ball. Handing it to me, he instructed me to hold it in my clenched fist.

“What God has told me to write on that paper is known only to me. You do not know it, right?” Penn and Teller would have loved this set-up, I thought. Sure, I agreed.

Putting another sheet of paper on top of the stack he asked me my father’s name. “George,” I lied. And your father’s father’s name? “George,” I repeated. They have the same name? “Yes, my father is named after his father.” Lying is a sin but I wasn’t about to tell him any personal information. Plus, this was getting fun.

He wrote “George” and “George” on the paper then asked to see my palm, the one which had the ball of paper clenched inside it. He traced one line and explained that that was my life line and I would have a long life. I placed the ball of paper on the table. “Please, hold the paper tight.”

“Think of a number, a single digit number,” he continued. “One,” I responded as he wrote the answer on the paper. “Are you married? Do you have a wife?” he asked. “Yes, I am married but I don’t have a wife.” A look of confusion before he asked what I meant.

“I am married. I have a husband.”

“Why did you do that?” he asked, trying to processes this information. “You mean, a boyfriend?”

“No, I mean a husband. Where I’m from, it is legal for two men to marry.”

Regathering his senses, he asked me to think of the type of flower that my… he stumbled for a word… the person you love likes the most. “Orchid,” I said. “He likes orchids.” Orchids was added to the list.

“Let me see your palm again.” He traced another line while clumsily holding my hand in his. “This is your love line. You will have a long and happy marriage.” He instructed me to close my fist again.

“David,” he said, “God has sent me to you. We are building a yoga school in India and I am traveling and he has blessed you with the face of a lucky man which is why I was able to find you. What are the odds of us finding each other in this crowded place?”

I responded skeptically. “The odds are pretty good considering you were looking for an easy mark and I was sitting by myself in an empty coffee shop.”

He looked hurt. “You do not believe me? I will show you that God has sent me to you. Open the piece of paper in your hand and look at it.”

I opened the piece of paper and, of course, written upon it were “George”, “George”, “1”, and “Orchid”.

“See?!” he exclaimed, “It is a miracle!”

“Let me see the paper you just wrote on.” He handed it to me. Of course, they were a perfect match. That’s what happens when you use pressure-sensitive paper. He had performed an elementary sleight-of-hand and swapped the piece of paper that was already in my hand for the one that had been below the list he was writing while he “read” my palm.

Tiring of the charade, I called his bluff. Explaining his technique and telling him he must think I’m quite stupid to fall for a cheap parlor trick, I wished him well as I stood up and gathered my stuff. As I walked away, I patted my pocket and looked in my bag, just to make sure his sleight-of-hand didn’t include pick-pocketing. My wallet and passport were still there.

Another blog-worthy event in my life.

Epilgoue – Februrary 8

Monday after lunch Tawn stopped by the same Starbucks for coffee. While sitting there, he was approached by the same Indian man who started in with the same line.

“Oh, it is good to see you again!” Tawn cut him off. When the man looked confused, Tawn continued, “Don’t you remember me? You came and spoke with me last week and told me about my good luck. How are things going with your yoga ashram?”

This continued for a few moments with the man caught off-guard. Tawn explained the whole thing – “You even did a magic trick to prove that God had sent you to me. Don’t you remember?” – as if he had actually been there.

Finally, the man said, “Oh, yes – I had forgotten you because you didn’t make a donation to our ashram.” When the man asked Tawn if he would donate to the ashram, Tawn declined. The Indian man countered by offering to tell him more good luck.

“Oh, you told me everything last time!” Tawn exclaimed. “You told me about all the bad luck I had had and all the good luck, too!”

The man asked if he could sit down. Tawn responded that the man was welcome to sit down but that he had an appointment to go to. With that, Tawn stood up, said goodbye and walked away, leaving the Indian man standing there speechless.

Materialism, Violence and Monks

Posted on 3 February 2010 by christao408

Materialism is widely decried as a negative trait, something that stains us as people and harms our society. Buddhism is not alone in teaching that materialism is undesirable; all major religions and philosophies arrive at the same conclusion. The Buddhist take is that materialism fosters a sense of attachment to something in the material realm. Since the underlying principle of Buddhism is that of impermanence – all things are transitory – that sense of attachment can only create suffering in the long run.

Of course, it is one thing to look at materialism from a philosophical perspective and quite another to avoid being materialistic! I greatly admire the saffron-robed monks whom you see on the streets and around the temples here in Thailand. They take a vow of poverty and generally live very simple lives.

As with any religion, of course, there are those who do not seem to follow the teachings as closely as they might. At a recent trip to MBK, a bazaar-like mall with hundreds of little stalls, I was surprised to see a few monks shopping. At a bookstore, one monk was handing money from his wallet to the female cashier – a double no-no in Buddhist teachings!

Of course, there is some question whether these “monks” are actual monks. I know that when traveling in Singapore and KL I have seen saffron-robed monks who are collecting cash alms on the streets. Again, a no-no. It seems that there is not a mechanism in place to authenticate those who claim to be monks.

Negative Depictions of Monks

In a related issue, there is a movie finally coming out here in Thailand called Nak Prok (“Shadow of the Naga”) that will serve as a test case for Thailand’s new film rating system. You see, one thing Thailand’s censors (officially known as the Ministry of Culture) particularly don’t like, it is the negative depiction of Buddhism. (Thanks to Wise Kwai for writing about this.)

Consider the case of Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s Syndromes and a Century, which was heavily censored because of scenes showing, among other things, a monk playing a guitar. (Yet another no-no in the rules that monks must follow.) The full-length, uncensored version of the movie has never shown in Thailand nor is it available on DVD.

Nak Prok takes things to an even higher level. The film made its premier at the Toronto Int’l Film Festival in 2008 but has been sitting on a shelf here in Thailand ever since. The story is about a gang of thieves who bury their loot on the grounds of a monastery. When they return to dig it up a few years later, they discover that a temple has been build on top of it. They ordain as monks – forcing the head monk at gunpoint to ordain them – in order to recover the loot.

The film depicts monks holding guns, a gun being held to the head of the senior monk, and the thieves behave in unseemly ways while in monks’ robes, including raping a woman. If this film doesn’t push the censors’ buttons, what will?

(Sorry, no English subtitles but I think you’ll get the gist of it anyhow!)

Actually, it looks like an interesting and emotionally-charged movie. We’ll see if it gets the highest restriction – restricting audiences below the age of 20 – or if it gets banned outright. We take our depiction of religion very seriously here, as you can tell.

In fact, it occurs to me as writing this that the Ministry of Culture may very well choose to censor this entry! Let’s hope not…

Street Vendors

Posted on 29 January 2010 by christao408

Krungthep is a city that eats on its feet. Thais have this snacking habit, unintentionally following the “five small meals a day” advice that so many weight-watchers hear. Whether a mid-morning snack of khanom krok, little salty-sweet rice flour and coconut milk pancakes, an afternoon snack of freshly sliced tropical fruit, or a quick bowl of guaytiaw – rice noodles – to stave off hunger, there is always plenty to choose from along a Thai sidewalk.

This picture accurately captures a dilemma that is increasingly common here in Thailand. Alongside the plethora of street vendors is an equally-abundant number of convenience stores. The difference between the two is not price – neither the 7-11 snacks nor the ones from street vendors will bust your budget – but quality.

“Fast food” when it comes from street vendors is made from fresh ingredients, is very rarely more than a few minutes (or at most a few hours) old, has no preservatives, and generally is more nutrient-dense than calorie-dense. “Fast food” when it comes from the convenience stores and Western fast food chains that are increasingly common is quite the opposite, offering few redeeming values other than a quick way to expand your waistline.

And, sadly, that expanding waistline is just what we’re seeing. Childhood obesity is growing rapidly in Thailand and especially here in Krungthep you see more and more children who are wearing X-Large size school uniforms.

In the months to come, I’d like to write more about Thai street vendors and snacks. They are often a bit self conscious when it comes to taking pictures, but I’ll look for some opportunities to share with you more about the foods we eat here.

A Deep Conversation

Posted on 30 December 2009 by christao408

Christmas Day I managed to have a muscle spasm in my lower right back. I wasn’t lifting, bending, stretching or doing anything at the time. The muscle just had an unexplained spasm. The following day I went to the hospital and had an acupuncturist look at it. Upon review it was decided that physical therapy would be more effective than acupuncture in this case. So the following two days I came in for physical therapy.

After an ultrasound treatment (it’s a boy!) and twenty minutes of heat pad and traction, I spent an hour working with a physical therapist who stretched, pulled, and massaged my torso and taught me exercises I could do to strengthen my back muscles.

The staff seemed to really like that I spoke Thai. This therapist in particular, who spoke English quite well, fell into an easy rapport with me and we ended up having a very wide-ranging conversation, mostly in Thai, over the two days he worked on me.

The conversation was, in fact, the longest conversation I’ve had with any Thai whom I did not already know. We talked about language, life upcountry (where he went to university) versus in the big city (where he was born and raised), how Bangkok has changed in the past thirty years, and we even talked about the political situation in Thailand. Generally, Thais are very hesitant to discuss politics with strangers, but he was very candid with me, although he spoke in very veiled terms since lèse majesté laws are strictly enforced in Thailand. The long and the short of it is that he worries about changes that will inevitably come.

I walked away from our conversation with a deep sense of satisfaction. Although I’ve lived here for more than four years, I rarely have the opportunity to interact in depth with Thais whom I don’t already know, especially on any meaningful level. At the physical therapy clinic I must have been viewed as a pleasant change from the usual foreigner so was able to chat with the staff a great deal.

Interestingly, upon learning that I was married to a Thai – and being only slightly shocked that that Thai is a man – I was asked what seems to be a litmus test question: “Do you like Pattaya?” Pattaya, a seaside resort two hours southeast of Bangkok, has a reputation for trashiness particularly with regards to sex for sale and, less so these days, child prostitution. I answered that I had been to Pattaya only once, for just a few hours on an errand, and had found it very distasteful. That seemed to be the right answer.

National Archives Videos

Posted on 28 December 2009 by christao408

Did you know that the National Archives has a YouTube channel? Well, it isn’t actually the National Archives’ channel but the result of a non-profit group that has purchased and posted DVD versions of several of the National Archives’ videos.

Does it seem odd that they would purchase DVDs for public domain videos? Several of the Archives’ videos are available only in low resolution and you are “encouraged” to purchase the videos from Amazon.com instead. This seems wrong considering that the videos should be made available to all taxpayers and citizens without having to pay for them.

The National Archives’ fantastic collection of public domain videos includes all sorts of treasures such as footage from Adm. Byrd’s 1939-41 journey to Antarctica, a 1970 nature film depicting the four seasons at Yellowstone National Park, and a vintage film from the late 1940s about counterfeiting and its suppression. Add to that Nixon’s Watergate speech and footage of the Hindenburg disaster. There are all sorts of amazing things there.

The twenty movies that Public.Resource.Org has posted on YouTube are here. I’ll share with you one very worthwhile treat, which I enjoyed this evening: Bob Hope’s 1967 Christmas Special from Thailand and Vietnam. One of Hope’s funny lines from the stage of one of the camps in Thailand: “They say that Thailand has never been conquered. No wonder, nobody can get through that traffic.” Ah, so it was that way back then, too?

Hope you enjoy this classic.

Getting My Thai Driver’s License

Posted on 26 December 2009 by christao408

What did I want for Christmas? Not a new Din Tai Fung location here in Krungthep, although that did turn out to be an early and unexpected surprise. What I really wanted was a Thai Driver’s License. Yes, I drive in Thailand, and for the past four years I have used an International Driver’s License which anyone can obtain at your local automobile association office.

For the longest time, I’ve considered that getting a Thai Driver’s License might be an exciting adventure to write about. With my International licence expiring the fourth of January, I decided getting the Thai license would be better than driving on an expired International one.

Requirements

My search for information began online. There are any number of websites that have information about getting a Thai Driver’s License, all of which seem to have copied and pasted the information from each other’s websites. The only official website, the one belonging to the Department of Land Transport, is only in Thai. Let this be the new source for updated information for those of you wishing to get your Thai Driver’s License. Here’s what you need:

Valid passport with a non-immigrant (and non-tourist) visa. One signed copy each of picture page, visa page, most recent entry stamp and departure card.
Valid international driver’s license. One signed copy of cover, English language permit page and picture/information page.
Proof of address in Thailand. This is most easily done if you have a work permit. One signed copy of all relevant work permit pages. Alternatively, you can get a certified proof of address from your embassy.
Copy of your valid driver’s license from your home country or state/province. Technically, you are supposed to have a translated copy of this information endorsed by your embassy but this does not actually appear necessary.

Unlike what other websites say, you do not need to bring two passport-size photos. The Department of Land Transport (DLT) uses digital cameras for the licenses these days. You also do not need to complete an application form.

Finding the DLT

I went to the DLT office located on Paholyothin Road across the street from Chatuchak Market and just a short walk from the Mo Chit BTS Skytrain station. Take exit 2 and walk past the Civil Aviation Training Center which has a helicopter and single-engine plane sitting out front. The DLT is the next complex on the street.

When I arrived at the DLT, I discovered that it is a very large complex with many buildings surrounded by lots of parking lots. Asking the guard, he pointed me to building 4, which was around the corner and quite far back. This part was a little confusing if you don’t read Thai as the building numbers are in Thai numerals. Certainly handy to read Thai or have a Thai friend accompany you.

Once at building 4 I asked at a counter on the first floor and was directed to the second floor. At the information desk the woman reviewed my documents to ensure I had everything I needed and then gave me a queue number. I headed inside the packed waiting room and noticed that the current number was 560 and my queue number was 837. Yikes!

Looking at the ticket, I noticed it said “Foreigner Counters 15-18” so I headed to that end of the room. A woman approached me and asked what number I had and then escorted me to counter 18. It seems that I bypassed 277 other people in the queue.

The counters are actually cubicles and once inside, I sat across from another lady who spoke English quite well, although I made every effort to communicate with her only in Thai. After reviewing the documents again she asked for copies of two additional pages in the work permit. She waited while I walked to the lobby and paid one baht each for the copies from the ad hoc copy shop. Back in the cubicle, she decided everything was okay paperwork-wise and sent me to the third floor for the eye tests.

Eye Tests

The third floor was a fun experience. After going to the information counter I was pointed inside to the first of three stations. At it sat a woman next to a large color blindness chart – a large circle composed of smaller circles made up of different colors. She had me stand behind a line on the floor about three meters (ten feet) away and pointed at various circles and I correctly named the colors. After about five circles she stamped my paper and pointed me to station two.

Station two was confusing. There was nobody there to administer the test so I sat down and waited for a few minutes until the lady at station one came over and explained that it was a self-administered test. There were two stools at a table and each stool sat in front of a metal box with an accelerator pedal and a brake pedal. Some distance away were two other boxes that had a large red and green lights on them along with a black strip.

You pressed a start button on the table and then stepped on the accelerator, turning on the green light. After a few seconds the light turned red. The objective was to then step on the brake pedal as quickly as possible, before the LED lights on the black strip illuminated from green to red. It took a few tries to get the hang of what was expected of me. On the fourth try I was able to stop quickly enough, proving the rapidness of my reflexes.

The third station was a test of peripheral vision. It was also a hygienic nightmare. You placed your nose on a metal counter – no wiping between customers – staring straight ahead as the administrator illuminated red, green or yellow LED lights to the left or right of your field of vision. You had to correctly name the color of lights while maintaining your forward gaze. Two our of three correct and I passed. Who knows what germs I picked up as well.

My eyes freshly tested, I returned to the second floor. Fellow test takers who were Thai and were applying for their first driver’s license had to proceed to the fourth floor to take a written test and then outside to conduct a practical driving test. Since I already have a driver’s license, neither a written nor practical test are required.

Practical driving course

Conclusion

On the second floor I was back in cubicle 18 after just a few minutes’ wait. The clerk entered the information, had me pay my 205 baht fee (about US $6.20) and asked me to verify that my name, birthday, etc. were entered correctly. She then took my picture a few times and, once satisfied with how it turned out, chatted with me for a few minutes as the license was printed.

It is a one-year provisional license. After the year is up, I reapply and am given a five-year license which can continue to be renewed so long as I’m legally living in Thailand on a non-tourist visa.

All told, it took me about an hour from when I entered the building until my exit, new license still warm from the printer. Now when I see the crazy drivers on the streets here, I feel entitled to lecture them about proper driving habits. After all, I am officially licensed to drive in Thailand!

christao408

The adventures of an expat American who moved to Bangkok for his husband.

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