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About christao408

An expat American who moved to Bangkok in 2005 with his partner (now husband). Life is a grand adventure and each experience is worth having if for no other reason than to remind us that we are alive.

The Egg and I

We arrived without incident at New York LaGuardia airport on Tuesday evening, taking an approach path that brought us right over midtown Manhattan.  I shot some video, which didn’t turn out perfect, but which is worth seeing.  Will try to get that together soon, although no promises as I’ve been pretty busy.

While we were waiting for our plane in Kansas City, Tawn discovered that his camera has a feature that combines multiple images.  He played around with several interesting ones, including this comparison of our travel outfits:

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We are staying with my cousins Bradley and Silvia in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood in Brooklyn.  I’ve not spent any time in Brooklyn before, so it is nice to explore another borough.  Sadly, Silvia is back in Italy this week visiting her parents, so no opportunity to see her.

Brad and Silvia have a trio of cats, two of which came from Italy when they moved back here a few years ago.  The third cat, which they adopted from the shelter, has one eye and is named Willy. 

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The cats seem to be everywhere, all the time!

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Thursday morning, Brad had to go into town to work, so Tawn and I started our morning with breakfast at Egg, a southern style breakfast place in the Williamsburg neighborhood.  Above, cousin Brad waiting for the train on the opposite platform.

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While not much to look at from the outside, the little patio area was pleasant and the service was friendly.  Oh, and the locally roasted coffee was fantastic!

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We sat outdoors and since the table was covered with butcher paper, started putting it to use.  Tawn remembered that today was Mother’s Day in Thailand (which coincides with Her Majesty the Queen’s birthday – August 12th).  After unsuccessfully trying to reach his mother by phone to wish her a happy Mother’s Day, he settled for drawing something for her and taking a picture of it, which he can show her upon his return.

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I added my own wishes.  I’ll let the Thai readers evaluate my penmanship or, as the case may be, crayonmanship.

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Of course, all this doodling led Tawn to start sketching ideas for our house, based on things he had seen that inspired him:

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The food at Egg is really good.  They are known for their buttermilk biscuits, which happen to be a specialty of mine.  I tried them with pork sausage gravy and a side of scrapple.

The biscuits were flaky, but also pretty dense and tough even with the flavorful gravy smothering them.  Points for flavor but points taken away for texture.

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Scrapple is a breakfast meat with German/Amish country origins.  It is made by boiling the scrap meat and bones left after butchering a hog, then combining the meat with oatmeal, cornmeal or another thickening grain, and seasoning it.  It doesn’t sound good, perhaps, but it is very tasty.  My mother makes a batch every Christmas and gives it to family members as a gift.  The scrapple at Egg was especially well-seasoned, with some chili powder and anise seeds adding a kick to it.

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Tawn had a cheese omelet, bacon, hash browns and a tomato compote.  The eggs were beautifully done and the hash browns were deep-fried and yummy.  The common theme for all their food was that things were well-seasoned.

After lunch, we headed into Manhattan and the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  More about that soon.

 

Tying up KC

As I mentioned, Saturday evening after the official reception, we had an open house at my sister and brother-in-law’s house to provide for time for visiting.  If you ask me, this was the best part of the weekend.  Not only did we have another four hours to catch up with friends and family members, we also had a chance to eat some of Kevin’s barbecue!

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Above, my grandmother, Anita, my sister and one of my uncles dig into the spread.

These pictures don’t do Kevin’s ability with a smoker justice, but here are the St. Louis style pork spareribs and, below that, the pulled pork shoulder.  With some Carolina-style vinegar sauce, that shoulder was amazing.

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Anita pulled together a caprese salad – ripe local tomatoes with fresh mozzarella cheese, basil chiffonade, and some extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.  Tasty stuff!

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What is a wedding without a cake?  Even better, why not two of them?  Albert and Trish stopped by a well-known Swiss bakery near the Plaza and came back with these two lovely treats:

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Tawn and I cut the cake and ran into a bit of a culture clash.  In Thailand, the person who controls the cutting of the cake also controls the relationship, or so they say.  I was wondering why it seemed like Tawn was trying to wrest the knife from my hands as we cut!

Sunday morning we were up early to drive Lilian and Anita to the airport for their return flight.  Afterwards, we met Andy and Sugi at Classic Cup Sidewalk Cafe on the Plaza for brunch.

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The company was excellent and the food quite good.  Portions were overwhelming, though.

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Tawn had this southwestern-style quesadilla and scramble.

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Cheesy grits with Italian sausage and fried eggs.  Tasty, but so heavy.  Didn’t finish them.

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Sugi enjoyed this turkey version of eggs benedict.

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Andy had another version of eggs benedict with a side of grits.  If I recall, these had sausage on them?  Andy can correct me in the comments if I’m wrong.

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Above, a cool bike parked in front of the Classic Cup.

After brunch, they headed back up to Omaha.  Really nice having the opportunity to meet them in person and spend lots of time together this week.

Our final days in Kansas City were filled with errands, packing and spending more time with my grandparents.  We scanned many more pictures and also taught my mother how to do the scanning so she can continue the project when I’m back in Thailand.

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Tawn and Emily had some time to do yoga together…

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Ava made it a point to come in each morning and wake Uncle Tawn up.  Here she’s sitting with an apple slice in her hand (notice the bowl on the bed), jabbering away about this, that and the other thing.

Finally, Tuesday morning we closed the bags, said our goodbyes, and headed for the Big Apple.

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Above, Tawn on the flight to NYC.

Stay tuned…

 

The Reception

IMG_0254 Friday evening after returning to Kansas City, Tawn and I met my cousins (one local and two visiting) as well as a few KC-based friends at Cafe Trio.  Trio is a nice restaurant/bar right on the Country Club Plaza shopping center with a nice deck that overlooks JC Nichols Memorial Fountain.  Of course, they couldn’t handle seating for a dozen so we just occupied the bar area, slowly expanding as adjacent drinkers left.

Eventually, one of the owners came over to see if we were planning on eating dinner.  I explained that we wanted a table but the maitre d’ had said they couldn’t accommodate us.  Telling him that it was our wedding night (my gaydar went off when speaking with him, so I figured it couldn’t hurt to mention it) and we wanted a table, he was accommodating and a few minutes later we were sitting at a group of tables on the deck.  Sitting on it was a complimentary bottle of champagne.  Nothing like pulling family strings, huh?

Saturday was the big reception.  We opted for an afternoon reception since our guests included several young children and some older adults for whom a late night event might be tiring.  The site was Lidia’s Kansas City, the first restaurant in Lidia Bastianich’s small chain.  You may know Lidia from her Public Television cooking shows.  The restaurant location is a former freight building across the tracks from Union Station.  It is beautifully designed and their upstairs reception area has lots of light.  We enjoyed great service from our two servers, who really went out of their way to make it a special event.

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Above, Albert makes a very nice toast to our health and happiness. 

It was a lovely reception with lots of family members, family friends and a few close friends who came in for the event.  These included three high school friends who have been close to my family over the decades.

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The meal was a three course menu with a choice of entrees: either a lovely lemon chicken or a trio of homemade pasta with included a wild mushroom ravioli, seafood fettucini and a rigatoni with Italian sausage and broccoli rabe.  Dessert was a lemon olive oil cake with basil sauce.  It was really nice.  All their pasta is freshly made on site, which makes all the difference in the taste and texture.

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In addition to a very thoughtful toast by Albert, a long-time family friend, my mother made a beautiful speech:

Chris and Tawn:

We never thought we would be able to celebrate this occasion of your wedding.  How much joy we feel that it is a reality for the two of you and for our family.

One of the realities of being parents of a gay or lesbian child is that the child is not the only one who much “come out of the closet”.  To continue with our relationship as your parents, we had to come out as well.  We had to grow into the understanding that this is who you are and that it is necessary for us to continue loving you and supporting you in your life because you are our child and everything else is secondary to that fact.  For us, that means sharing your activities with extended family members and friends with the same openness that we share Jennifer and Kevin’s activities.

A similar growth has occurred for your sister, her husband, and more recently their daughters.  Likewise, your grandparents have grown in their understanding of this aspect of who you are.  Aunts, uncles and cousins, to widen the circle, have also experienced a growth of understanding.

This understanding is: You are of us and we are of you and that will never change.

Today the family has gathered around you, both physically and in spirit, to celebrate this road of your life’s journey.  We welcomed Tawn with open arms nine years ago, loving him as your choice of a life partner.   Now, Tawn, we welcome you as Chris’ husband and Chris as your husband.  We love you both with all our hearts and pray that your life together will be strong.

How lucky am I to have such supportive parents and such a supportive family? 

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Knowing that we were heading to New York City next, most of our guests had chipped in to make our visit there very memorable.  The gift bag, which we are opening below, contained a one night’s stay at the Marriott Marquis Hotel in Times Square, two tickets to see the Tony Award-winning show Billy Elliot, and reservations at Eric Ripert’s Le Bernardin, which Restaurant magazine rated the 15th best restaurant in the world this year. 

Such a thoughtful gift!  Something we will really enjoy and, an added benefit, it certainly packs easily!

Saturday evening my sister and brother-in-law hosted an open house, with pretty much all the same guests gathering for further visiting and home-smoked barbecue.  It was nice to have several more hours to visit with everyone, especially since several people flew or drove a long way to visit.

Yes, it was small and not nearly as fancy as many weddings and receptions I’ve been to, but I think it was very nicely suited to who we are and what we value as a couple.

 

We’re Married! (Now with Photos)

Thanks for your patience as Tawn and I went through a weekend’s worth of wedding celebrations and then tried to sort through pictures in order to share them, and the associated stories, with you.  We were fortunate to have several guests with cameras and had the opportunity to gather the pictures before the weekend ended.  Another friend, Ryan, shot with a digital SLR and hopefully we’ll have some even nicer pictures to share with you in a few weeks.

Thanks also to the dozens of congratulatory comments and well-wishes.  More than ever, this trip in which we’ve met several Xangans, has reinforced what a community this site really is.  We appreciate all your thoughts and greetings.

On Thursday morning we headed north to Council Bluffs, Iowa, about three hours from Kansas City.  While my sister, brother-in-law and the nieces went to the zoo, Tawn and I took a nap then picked up guests from the airport.

Along the way, we had a rather blogable moment as my brother-in-law borrowed the keys for the sedan in order to remove something from the trunk.  He then kept the keys in his pocket as they headed off to the zoo, something I didn’t discover until thirty minutes before Lilian and Anita’s flight was scheduled to arrive.

We ended up taking a taxi across the river to the airport, what ended up being a $50 round trip!  Thankfully, though, Lilian and Anita were easily found at the baggage claim and the timing worked well.

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Above: Tawn, Anita and Lilian at La Mesa Restaurant.

After dinner at a Mexican restaurant (I realize I’m repeating a bit of a previous entry, so my apologies), we headed to the Cass County (Nebraska) Fair to enjoy the rides on the midway, a taste of cotton candy, and the roar of the crowd at the tractor pull.

Top: Tawn, Lilian and Anita in the grandstands at the tractor pull.  Middle left: The same trio buying some cotton candy.  Middle right: A single passenger spins round and round as the sun dips below the western horizon.  Bottom: Tawn, Chris, Sugi and Andy.

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Driving home along the country roads, Lilian and Tawn dozed as Anita chatted with me to help keep my eyes open.  After dropping them off at the hotel, I headed back out to the Omaha airport as Ryan’s flight arrived at 11:30.  After stopping by a local diner so he could order dinner (six hours on Southwest with only peanuts – but that is to be expected), I called it a night.

Bight and early on Friday morning, we were showered and dressed and ready for breakfast.  The obvious choice: the Cracker Barrel.  Below, Anita and Tawn wait for their grits.

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We arrived at the courthouse at 10:30 and went to the County Recorder’s office to pick up the license.  The clerk, who had been grumpy on Tuesday morning when we first applied, seemed a little less so this morning.  Maybe she’s more of a Friday person?  In either case, we reviewed the document, signed it to attest to the accuracy, and then headed upstairs to the Court Clerk’s office.

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Above, waiting at the Court Clerk’s window with our witnesses, Anita and Ryan.

Thankfully, there weren’t any cases in session so the waiting area outside the courtrooms weren’t filled with the scraggly assortment of people who were there Tuesday morning.  Still, there were a few people around, looking on with curiosity as the dozen or so friends and family members filled the room.

Below, pre-wedding picture with my family members who had made the trip.  Note the bemused lawyer getting into the elevator in the background!

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This whole bureaucratic process reinforced for me that marriage is, more than anything, a civil function: a legal recognition by the state of the relationship between two adults.  I believe more than ever that all “marriages” should be identified by the state only as “civil unions” and that the churches should be allowed to do whatever additional ceremonies they see fit.  Separation of church and state.  Anyhow, let’s not get into the political aspect of this issue here.

While we were taking pictures, the judge came out of his courtroom and called us in.  He was very friendly and invited people to walk in front of the bar if they wanted to take pictures from the area in front of the bench.  Oddly, though, everyone respected the institution and stayed in the viewing gallery.

We asked the judge whether we could use our vows from the commitment ceremony we did in 2004 as part of the wedding.  He reviewed them and decided they complied with whatever requirements for wedding vows that the state of Iowa has, so agreed to use them instead.

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Here they are:  (Video of us saying our vows here)

(Chris/Tawn), I choose you to spend my life with,
to grow with, and to make my life with.
I will honor and respect you and be by your side
as we build a life together.

You are the love of my life.
Through the challenges and joys,
the brightest peaks and darkest valleys,
the sunny days and stormy nights,
I pledge my love to you
until the last day of my life.

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We then exchanged rings and continued:

(Chris/Tawn), I give you this ring as a symbol
of my love, joy and fidelity.
Wear it as a reminder of my vows to you
and your vows to me.

With that, five minutes after we started, the judge pronounced us legally married.

It is worth noting that during the ceremony, I had a view over Tawn’s shoulder of the window in the courtroom door.  I noticed two faces in it during the proceedings:  One was that of a redheaded teenage boy wearing a baseball cap, who had a confused and slightly disgusted look on his face.  The other was of the grumpy clerk from the County Recorder, whose face was beaming with a wide smile.

After the witnesses signed the license and the judge congratulated us, we headed downstairs to the adjacent park for some pictures.  Council Bluffs, a town that is perhaps a bit lost in the shadows of its larger neighbor, Omaha, still has a cute historic center and they have done a very nice job on the remodel of the park.

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Above, Tawn and I pose in front of the fountain.  Below, posing with my parents, who drove in the previous day from Indiana.

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After pictures, we drove to a local barbeque restaurant (C’mon, this is a midwestern wedding.  What did you expect us to eat after an important family event?) for lunch.  No pictures there as once you get your fingers wet with barbeque sauce, you don’t want to be handling your camera!

Filled up with good food and flushed with the excitement of finally being legally recognized as a couple, we loaded back into the car and headed back to Kansas City.

Reception covered in the next entry.  Once again, thanks for your good wishes.  I’m glad to be able to share this special event with you.

Tractor Pull Bachelor Party

It is Friday morning.  A loud thunderstorm passed through at 4:00, waking us up in our room at the Days Inn.  We will head to the courthouse in three hours.  Last night was our defacto bachelor party.  We drove up to Council Bluffs in the morning with my sister, brother-in-law and nieces.  My parents arrived mid afternoon and we picked Lilian and Anita up at the airport before dinner.

Dinner was at La Mesa Mexican Restaurant, whose hearty portions deserve an entry of their own. 

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Three generations of the family: my mother, sister and nieces.

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Lilian and Anita join us at dinner.

After dinner, Anita, Lilian, Tawn and I drove to the Cass County Fair (about 18 miles south of Omaha), an idyllic fair with games, rides, cotton candy and a tractor pull.  We met up with Andy and Sugi, enjoyed some Bud Light, and watched souped-up tractors pull a weight-carrying sled as far as they could down the field.

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It was lots of fun and I have some loud video to share with you later.  Stay tuned.

Well, time to shower, shave and get ready to get married.

 

First Trip to Iowa

Arrangements for the Friday wedding are moving ahead quickly.  Monday afternoon I drove to KC Airport and picked up Tawn, who was flying in from San Francisco.  We then drove north two-and-a-half hours to Omaha, Nebraska where we met yet another Xangan, Andy, and stayed with him and his girlfriend at their cute suburban home.

Omaha is known for its beef (and Warren Buffet, too) so Andy took us to Brother Sebastian’s, a steak house and winery that is designed to look like a monastery.  Very good New York Strip.  Below from left: Chris, Tawn, Sugi, Andy and Ali (a summer intern working in Andy’s lab).

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Tuesday morning, Andy accompanied us to the Pottawattamie County courthouse, in beautiful downtown Council Bluffs, Iowa.  It is actually a cute downtown, although the city itself has seen better days.  Andy served as our witness as we filled out the marriage license application.

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Going through this process reinforced for me that the issue of same sex marriage is ultimately a civil one, not a religious one.  Nothing that we filled out had anything to do with religious beliefs; it was strictly a civil procedure, the creation of a contract between two consenting adults.

The lady working the counter wasn’t the friendliest person I’ve encountered.  I wonder if she’s just that way all the time or whether she feels forced as a civil servant to process applications for same sex weddings she doesn’t believe in.  I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s just grouchy.

Interestingly, the application form has “Person A” and “Person B” and you can check one of three boxes for each person: “Bride”, “Groom” or “Spouse”.  We opted for “Groom” and “Groom”.

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Above, Tawn and I in front of the courthouse.

You’ll find this interesting: in the hallway of the recorder’s office is this poster:

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Harrah’s Council Bluffs casino will give you a complimentary cocktail with your marriage license.  Based on the rainbow color and “Everyone Plays a Part” slogan, they must be targetting same sex couples.

 

Last weekend we were able to meet another Xangan, although just briefly.  Ruth Ann has been reading a lot recently as she and her husband lived in Thailand back in the early 1970s.  I really enjoy her comments as she provides nice perspectives on what it was like to be an expat in Thailand then.  Needless to say, some things have changed a lot while others haven’t.

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My brother-in-law has also been doing some smoking in preparation for the guests who will be in town this weekend.  You can just smell the hickory smoke, huh?

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Will have information about the wedding soon… stay tuned.

 

Bluestem Kansas City

Two summers ago, the New York Times wrote an article about how smaller cities in the Midwest are starting to sustain not just good individual restaurants but whole groups of them, a sign of a foodie culture that is not just centered on the large coastal cities.  Two of the chefs profiled were husband-wife team Colby and Megan Garrelts (below), whose restaurant bluestem opened five years ago.

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bluestem-17 Bluestem is self-described as “progressive American cuisine” and based on the Times’ article, I decided it was worth a visit.  My friend Jack agreed to join me for this exploratory quest into the heart of Kansas City fooddom, which has long been perceived as beginning at steak and ending at potatoes.

Bluestem is a cozy, masculine, and somewhat under-lit place on Westport Road, on the edge of the local midtown entertainment district.  Next door is a Sonic hamburger drive-in, which seems about right for what you would expect.

The bar area is loungey, with leather chairs and comfortable places to sit.  The dining area is in the adjacent storefront, three floors down.  There are only about a dozen tables so it doesn’t feel too loud, although I wouldn’t describe the volume as “hushed”.

Bluestem’s menu is divided into two pages. The left page has appetizers, starters, salads and soups. The right page has proteins. While you can order alacarte, fixed-price tasting menus are their specialty, with 3, 5, 7 and 12-course menus including dessert.

Jack opted for the 3-course menu and I, unable to decide on only one item from each side of the menu, went for the 5-course tasting menu.  Here’s a look at what we are – sorry for the poor picture quality as I had to use a flash.

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The amuse-bouche.  A sweet corn panna cotta with a rock shrimp and sliver of frisee.

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My first appetizer: Wagyu tartare, giardiniera (an Italian-American relish of pickled peppers and other vegetables in oils), black olive caramel and potato crisps.

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My second appetizer: Orchiette pasta, bacon, peas, spinach, Parmigiano Reggiano, lemon.

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Jack’s appetizer: Bay scallops, summer beets, wild arugula, corriander-champagne vinaigrette.

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My first main: Seared scallop, braised bacon, bok choy, soy caramel, red miso emulsion (the foam).

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My second main: Piedmontese strip steak, horseradish potato, asparagus, rapini, la quercia coppa (ham).

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Jack’s main: Berkshire porkloin, smoked tomato, sweet and sour peach, vanilla jus.

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My dessert: cheese plate featuring local cheeses.

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Jack’s dessert: two types of chocolate mousse with spearmint ice cream.

We also enjoyed petit fours – graham cracker pound cake with toasted marshmallow and passion fruit gelee.

The food was well-prepared, quality ingredients and all.  Service was attentive and the servers knowledgable.  Truly, this restaurant could be located in New York, San Francisco or another major city.  But my problem is with the price.  While the food is very good, the price is just too high.  $50 for the 3-course meal, $70 for the 5-course meal.

One thing that occurred to me is that many of the ingredients seem to be brought in from far away.  On the way out, the manager asked us how things were and I asked him about this.  He assured me that most of their ingredients come from five farmers within about 100 miles, but I’m skeptical.  The seafood items were all from the coasts.  The beef was from Texas.  The passion fruit was from somewhere far away.  My point is, being in the heart of the nation’s breadbasket in the midst of the summer, I’m sorry to see that there isn’t more emphasis on locality.  Perhaps that would help drive the price down a bit.

Still, it was an interesting culinary adventure.

 

A Trip to Quincy – Full Version

In this age of internet relationships and Facebook “friends”, one could be forgiven for questioning how genuine these virtual connections are. While many may indeed be tenuous, several connections I’ve made through this blog have developed into real, meaningful friendships with people from so many different walks of life.

It was because of one such relationship that I carved two days from my visit to the United States to fly to Quincy, Illinois (population 40,000). Lying on the eastern bank of the Mississippi River some 140 miles north of St. Louis, Quincy has been the home for the past 31 years to Dr. Zakiah Ali, her husband Mohamed, and their family.

Visiting Zakiah after getting to know her through her postings, poems and comments on Xanga was a blessing. She and her family are every bit as kind and welcoming as you could imagine. While my twenty hours there were too few, I’m glad I had the opportunity and look forward to a return visit.

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Connecting in St. Louis from Kansas City, I boarded a 19-seat puddle jumper operated by Great Lakes Airways, who has the government’s Essential Air Services contract for Quincy. This Thursday afternoon I was the only passenger.

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After a 35-minute flight, most of it spent climbing and descending, I arrived at Baldwin Field. Waiting in the tiny terminal were Zakiah and Mohamed.

A few minutes later we arrived at their lovely home, the famous red Mustang convertible sitting in the open garage and the beautiful roses blooming in the front yard.

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Above, the place where all of Zakiah’s posts and poetry enter the ether.

No sooner had I arrived then the food began. Zakiah’s gracious hospitality manifests itself in many ways, not the least of which is through the preparation of copious amounts of food.

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In addition to some salad and quiche, Zakiah served mango feerni, a soup-like dessert made with homemade condensed milk, pureed mango and pistachios. It was delicate, cool and refreshing.

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After resting and freshening up, Zakiah and I hopped in her Benz for the nickel tour of Quincy. It is a beautiful town, renowned for its architecture. There were dozens of beautiful houses in many styles – colonial, Victorian, craftsman, etc. – on the shady, tree-lined streets of the old city.

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We drove past several notable sites including Washington Park, the setting of one of the seven debates in the 1858 Senate race between incumbent Stephen A. Douglas and a lanky lawyer named Abraham Lincoln.

Some of the other sites – Quincy’s mosque, which Zakiah founded many years ago, for example – she pointed out when we were half a block beyond them. Perhaps the driver was so careful about her safe driving that the “audio” on the tour was delayed. We also made our way to the banks of the mighty Mississippi, the wide river that has so profoundly shaped Quincy.

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Returning home, Zakiah began preparations for an elaborate dinner. I helped a bit but mostly took pictures and notes and filmed the proceedings. After I return to Thailand, I’ll see what I can do about editing the video clips.

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While dinner was being prepared, Zakiah and Mohamed’s daughter stopped by with her husband and two sons. If you’ve read Zakiah’s blog, you know she adores her grandsons, Davis and Noah. Davis is cute but very shy and Noah has inherited his grandparents’ cleverness. They are a beautiful family.

Our meal included Chicken Korma, a curried chicken dish;

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Beef Briyani, a dish with basmati rice and stewed beef;

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Shikampuri Kebab, fried minced beef patties stuffed with sour cream, onions and cilantro;

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and a dish of broiled vegetables tossed in Italian dressing and parmesan cheese, our only exception to the otherwise Indian cuisine.

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Dessert was faluda, an eggless custard like the Italian panna cotta. Made with milk and a seaweed that thickens the dish like gelatin does. The milk is simmered with sugar, almonds and rose water then chilled.It is refreshing and the perfect end to an excellent meal.

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We talked into the evening, covering so many topics. I was especially interested in hearing about the experiences Zakiah and Mohamed had, moving halfway around the world and starting a new life in a strange land and, even more challenging, in a small town where they appeared so different from everyone else. Hearing the stories of the challenges of their first few years, and how they were eventually embraced by the community (Dr. Zakiah received the key to the city after her retirement) and now consider it home, I am inspired at their ability to gracefully triumph against such odds. Truly amazing.

Below, the picture of the town’s well-known doctor in an interview with her in the local paper’s “Women In the News” column.

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Their living room, attached to the dining room, has particularly interesting decorations. Everything in it has an intriguing story or history attached. There is the commendation given to her great grandfather by Queen Victoria for his service to the crown. There are the paintings done by an uncle who was a notable artist. There are furniture items from her childhood home in India.  So many things, each with deep meaning and significance. The stories from the living room alone were worth the visit.

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Friday morning we enjoyed a lingering and elaborate breakfast (she even bought two kinds of ground coffee from the store – they aren’t regular coffee drinkers – to make sure I would have my morning coffee) on the backyard deck.

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Above: Mohamed and Zakiah.  Below, Eggs Dr. Ali Style, with tumeric, onion, tomatoes, and chillies.

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The morning was unseasonably cool and we enjoyed the view of her koi pond and beautiful garden. A gazebo, several rose bushes, other flowers, and a hedgerow sat behind the pond and the surrounding cluster of trees.

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As she fed the fish, which truly do come at the sound of her voice, she mused how she wishes she could show the garden to Matt, whom she thinks would especially appreciate it.

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At 9:30 I called the airline to make sure the flight was running – after the solo trip the previous afternoon I was worried they might not come back for me – and we headed to the airport shortly afterwards. The terminal is so cute, with one tiny check-in counter, security guards who show up for the three flights a day then go home, and one rental car sitting in the Hertz lot. This time our flight was packed – four passengers! Checked in, I said my farewells and headed through the security screening and across the tarmac to the plane.

As the plane climbed about the endless rolling green farmland that surrounds Quincy, I thought about my visit and confirmed that it had indeed been well worth the time and effort to make this virtual friendship into an in-person one.

 

Live from Quincy

It is late and I haven’t the energy to go into a lot of detail.  Suffice it to say that this afternoon and evening with Zakiah and Mohammed was fantastic and I ate… very… well…

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There are lots of pictures, many things to share and lots of video.  Yes, if ever you wanted Dr. Zakiah to star in her own cooking show, you will have your wish fulfilled, with all of the wit and charm you’ve come to expect from her!

I return to Kansas City Friday morning.

 

Custards and Tatoos

A large part of Wednesday was spent with my maternal grandparents, who are both 89 years old and still very active.  While they, if asked, would qualify that description of “very active”, the number of activities they are still engaged in exceeds what most retirees do, regardless of age.

Despite all my other activities while I’m here, spending time with my grandparents is the most important thing.  I’m working on a larger project which includes scanning hundreds of photos that my grandmother has organized into albums over the years, as well as capturing audio recordings of them telling stories and sharing memories about those photos.  Realizing that our lives have a finite length, I want to capture this part of our family history while I still have the opportunity.

Of course, before that there was some work to do.  My grandfather was sanding and repainting the door, door frame and screen door from the house into the garage.  Since he doesn’t need to be up on a ladder anymore, after lunch I worked on the top half of the project, eventually working my way down and completing it by mid-afternoon.  Painting isn’t my strong point, but I think I did okay.

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P1180015 Sometimes two young nieces are quite a lot to handle – witness the trip to the Mexican restaurant – so divide and conquer is a good technique.  The young one goes to day care, giving some quality time with the older niece.  After running errands on Tuesday with my sister and Emily, we stopped at Sheridan’s for some frozen custard.

Frozen custard seems to be a midwestern specialty – a richer form of ice cream.  They also do “concretes” which are frozen custards blended with toppings, kind of like the Dairy Queen Blizzard, but better.

Here’s a special concrete with brownies blended with vanilla custard, topped with hot fudge.  Tasty combination but of course the hot fudge caused the custard to start melting!

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Emily and Jenn with frozen custard smiles.

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P1180306 There has also been quality time with niece number two, Ava.  After the last day of swim lessons, she received a “tatoo”, one of the temporary stickers that adhese to your skin for days at a time.  This one was a tree frog tatoo, significant because her most recent new stuffed plaything is a small brown frog called “coqui”. 

The frog was a gift from my sister and brother-in-law after they took a holiday in Puerto Rico.  It seems “coqui” is what a number of species of small frogs are called there.

This morning, it was off to the tatoo parlor (well, the kitchen) for the application of the new tatoo.  Left side or right side?  Arm or leg?  So many decisions to make when getting such permanent body art!

Left, Ava poses with her new tatoo and coqui. 

After a few days here in Kansas City, I’m heading out today for an overnight trip to Quincy, Illinois to visit Zakiah, also known by many Xangans as ZSA_MD.  This will be a short trip, but one that strengthens the bonds of Xangan community!  Stay tuned for more reporting in the days to come.