I’m very excited to see that the 5th Australian Film Festival will be opening here in Khrungthep next week.  Last year I had a fantastic time seeing some very good films that might not otherwise make it to Thailand.

When I mentioned to Tod that the festival was coing up, he asked with surprise whether it had been a year already.  Sure enough, I’ve been back long enough that I’m now seeing cycles: another Songkran, another hot season, and Australian Film Festival. 

Click on the picture to the right to get more information.

Yesterday I attended dinner for a visiting American who has been in town for two days.  Over dinner, he asked why Thais, who customarily use only a fork and large spoon as the table silverware, don’t use knives.

Pausing to consider the question, I responded that they didn’t use knives because they don’t have a need to.  For example, like in many cultures in Asia, the food is cut into smaller pieces before cooking.

“That’s not a good answer,” he responded.

Pausing again to re-consider (maybe it wasn’t a good answer?), I once again reached the conclusion that a fork and spoon were totally sufficient to eat Thai food.  A fellow diner, a native Thai, demonstrated for the guest by holding a larger piece of sweet, ripe mango with his fork and then sliced off a smaller portion with the edge of his spoon to eat with a bite of sticky rice.

“That’s still not a good answer,” he emphatically repeated.

[sigh…]

I suppose it is a good awareness-raising opportunity for me.  There seems to be a Western approach to conversation, particularly questioning, that comes across more as didactic rather than inquisitive.  For example, it seemed that the guest’s underlying message (based on where the conversation led) was that he saw  the use of only a fork and spoon as a deficiency that should be corrected, rather than just another funtional way of eating.

The more time I spend in Thailand, the more I appreciate why many people in non-Western cultures find the Western approach to conversation to be quite confrontational.

Later in the evening, as is often the case, I thought of how I could have responded to his repeated assertion that my answer was not a good one:

“Perhaps the reason that Thais don’t put knives on the table is so they aren’t tempted to use them when farang criticize the way they eat.” 

Otto and Han reached the breaking point – too much of Singapore – and decided to get off the island nation for a weekend in Bangkok, so Tawn and I had the pleasure of their company Saturday afternoon when we met them at Siam Discovery Center for lunch at Oishi Grand Buffet, the high-end restaurant of a large Thai company that operates a range of generally Japanese-themed restaurants and eateries as well as the ubiquitous brand of bottled green tea.  We were joined by Tam and Markus, who ironically had just flown back from Singapore on business.

Right: Otto, Tam, Markus, Tawn, Chris and Han midway through the first round of food.

The price is steep – 650 baht for lunch (US$20) – but the quality is extremely good.  The sushi is top-grade and there is a teppan-yaki (grill) where you can choose entire beef, pork and chicken steaks for grilling.  While we couldn’t do it every week, it is a good place for an occasional meal.

Sunday morning while I met up with Otto and Han for breakfast, Tawn returned home and spent the better part of the day with his parents.  While cleaning the koi pond with his father, they talked about the condominium that we’re considering, and whether Tawn’s father was still willing to match our down payment.  Fortunately, he is.

There is an interesting mentality going on here and I’m going to push the edge of the envelope just a little to talk about it:

Over the seven-plus years that we’ve been together, Tawn’s father has evolved (s-l-o-w-l-y) in his thinking about our relationship.  The first time he realized what was going on, I had written a postcard to Tawn from the US and signed it, “love”, forgetting that his father had received his degree in the US and was fully literate in English.

When visiting San Francisco, I met Tawn’s parents for an awkward dinner, the silence of which was only broken once we were on our second bottle of wine.  On two of my visits to Khrungthep, we went out for dim sum that, absent any social lubrication, featured stilted conversation.

But the watershed moment was New Year’s Eve 2003 (heading into 2004) when Tawn was at his parents’ for the annual family party, where Tawn’s father acknowledged in a conversation that he “knew” about Tawn’s life but that he was too old to change his mind about what was right and wrong.  While he warned Tawn away from gay relationships – “two men can’t live together; there’s too much yang energy” – he at least acknowledged that that is who Tawn is.

The interesting part is that once I moved to Khrungthep in October 2005, that Tawn’s father would not cross paths with me any more.  My presence here in the Big Mango as a resident instead of a visitor meant that I was in his territory now.  This lack of contact persisted until just two weeks ago when we made the briefest of verbal and, almost, eye contact.

Along the way Tawn’s father, being of good Chinese extraction, has felt some obligation to help his son with the purchase of his first home, the same way that Tawn’s grandfather gave Tawn’s father and siblings land on which to build their homes.  As Tawn has discussed the search for a condominium with his father, his father has repeated his desire to help Tawn with a down payment, in order to “match” the money that I would put down.

And this is where the mental partitioning, the rationalizing, get particularly interesting to me:

For some time, Tawn tried to explain that our down payment wasn’t Chris’ money but was, rather, our money.  This is true since our finances have been fully intertwined since I moved here.  But for Tawn’s father, acknowledging that fact is too large a dose of reality, so he has continued to refer to our down payment as “Chris’ money” and said that he will match whatever amount I put down so that Tawn has a down payment, too.

Finally, Tawn decided it wasn’t worth the effort to correct his father and to this day allows him to continue the mental gymnastics.  Over the koi pond yesterday, Khun Sudha continued with the plausible deniability but confirmed that he would indeed match “Chris’ money”.

The whole thing is kind of funny and kind of silly.  Looking at the bright side, though, Tawn’s father is a lot more accepting and acknowledging than many Chinese fathers are.  And as Tawn put it, we’ll take whatever help we can get!

Sunday evening we had the second marital event of the weekend, this time a wedding between Oct and Em.  Oct is the cousin of one of Tawn’s friend Tao and was also Tawn’s high school mate.  Em is the boyish-looking groom. 

This was a huge affair – the bride’s father is a retired army general – with 1,000 guests held at a large ballroom at the Landmark Hotel.  It was a bit chaotic, truthfully!  We went to the reception with Sa, another of Tawn’s high school friends, and her husband Job.  Above: Chris, Tawn, Tao, Sa and Job.

The whole affair reminded me of a film festival reception.  The bride and groom, big movie buffs, had set up several faux movie posters featuring them, based on the posters of some of their favorite films.  Kind of like what Tony does on his blog.  (Note, you need to be signed in with a Xanga username in order to view his site.)

All weddinged out, I think we were ready to head home by 9:00.

While at the reception I missed a call from Ajarn Yai, who called to tell me that Patricia Goodfriend, who had visited the school last November, had written her a letter.  Ajarn Yai had a few questions about words that weren’t in her dictionary including “road rage”, “academically”, and “professionally”. 

The comment was made about my previous post that the engagement ceremony mirrors Chinese custom.  That, plus the ample number of “double happiness” characters applied to all the gifts, pretty much give away the degree of influence that Chinese culture has on Thai culture.  Part of this is due to the large degree of intermarriage between ethnically Thai and ethnically Chinese families. 

Estimates I’ve read say that the all-Chinese portion of Thai society is around 14%, but that intermarriage has led to possibly as much as 80% of the Thai population having at least some Chinese ancestry.

To make it fun, though, we have another engagement ceremony and wedding to attend Sunday.  The engagement ceremony, which we will probably not make, is being held at the auspicious time of 5:30 am!  The wedding will be a major social affair, with 1,000 guests invited.  Crazy, huh?

Here’s an opportunity to make a difference.  There are many good causes out there and many ways to contribute.  One that I’d like to help get the word out about is the good work being done by Aaron and Tae, who are pooling their fund-raising resources to participate in AIDS Walk New York. 

One of the primary beneficiaries of the fund-raising is Gay Men’s Health Crisis, an outstanding organization with a three-fold mission: to reduce the spread of HIV disease; help people with HIV maintain and improve their health and independence; and keep the prevention, treatment and cure of HIV an urgent national and local priority.

In 2006, 39.5 million people were living with HIV/AIDS world-wide and there were 2.9 million deaths.  That’s 2.9 million individuals whose light no longer shines.

You can make a contribution to the cause in any amount, anonymously if you chose to do so, through the link on Tae’s website, where you can also see the progress that is being made in the fund-raising goals.  Thank you for your help.

Friday was Wan Chakri, a day commemorating the founding of the Chakri Dynasty (King Rama I) in 1782 A.D.  This was also the day that Tawn’s high school friend Bua, a Qantas flight attendant, was engaged to her fiancée Pom, a veterinarian who is studying to be a pilot, in a lavish ceremony at the Grand Hyatt Erawan hotel.  The ceremony was held in “The Residences,” the Hyatt’s conference room area.  The interior is absolutely beautiful, largely encapsulating the way that Tawn and I would decorate a home, so we snapped plenty of pictures of furnishings and took lots of notes.

Engagement parties are an interesting affair here in Thailand, an entire event in their own right that sometimes takes place on the same day as the wedding and other time occurs well beforehand.  Here’s a rundown of the basic process:

The groom arrives as part of a large entourage including parents, extended family, and friends.  They carry the dowry, which includes symbolic items such as bunches of bananas (representing many children), long dried noodles (long life), and coconuts.  Along the way, they encounter “gates,” friends and/or family members of the bride who will hold up chains (usually jewelry) that represent these gates. 

Right: About one-quarter of the groom’s entourage, waiting at another gate.

To pass by, the groom’s entourage must persuade the gate-keepers that the groom is worthy of the bride.  There is the opportunity for the exchange of witty repartee and joking, along with the paying of little bribes – err, token gifts.

Here’s the dialogue that Tawn engaged in with the groom’s Pu Yai – a respected elder (not the parents) who negotiates on the groom’s family’s behalf.  The groom is the one in the light blue tie, looking a bit fearful.  For those that know him, doesn’t he look a lot like Kelly Lim?

Pu Yai: Hello there, what is this gate?

Tawn: Hello sir, this is the golden gate that belongs to Bua’s close friends.

Pu Yai: Close friends?  So that means you will open this gate easily?

Tawn: I would think it would be the opposite way, sir.  You need keys to open this gate.  Make sure you have the right keys otherwise the golden gate will not open.

Pu Yai: Maybe one bag of money each would be enough to be the key to open this gate.

Tawn: Let’s try and see if you have the right key.

Pu Yai:  (hands small bags of coins to Tawn and Pim)

Tawn: Whoops, sorry.  That’s the wrong key.

Pu Yai: Okay, let me try one more, then.  (Hands another bag)

Tawn: Sir, we have two gate keepers so we need two more bags each.

Pu Yai: (Hands another bag)  This is the right key, then?

Tawn: Let me ask the other gate keeper.

Pim: (nods consent)

Tawn: Yes, please come in.

The number of gates will vary, sometimes kept by just one person and sometimes by two, but eventually the groom’s entourage is allowed to pass and will end up in a main room where the bride’s parents – but not the bride – are seated.

What happens next is that the groom’s parents, the groom, and the bride’s parents sit down for a discussion that involves the presentation of all the gifts, and lectures by the parents on the characteristics of a good marriage.  Of course the conversation is all symbolic and the decision to allow the children to be engaged is a foregone one.  However, it continues a long tradition.

Right: Trays of the gifts that make up the dowry are arranged in the room.

Once her parents are satisfied, the bride’s friends will escort her into the room.  In this case, when the master of ceremonies asked the bride’s father, “Well, what do you say?” after the final gift had been given to him by the groom, the father replied, “What can I say?  It’s already in my hands, isn’t it?”

The parents have some more microphone time and the groom and the bride exchange engagement rings.  The rings are handed from the parents: the groom’s mother gives him the ring to present to the prospective bride and the bride’s father gives her the ring for her fiancée. 

Quite often, this ceremony is actually shorter than the two hours it took Friday, and is held in the morning with Buddhist religious ceremonies immediately following and then a wedding reception in the evening.  In this case, Bua and Pom haven’t finalized a date but are planning on sometime at the end of the year for their wedding.

Following the engagement, the guests – some 120 people – sat down for a full Chinese style banquet spread between two rooms.  Alex and Bill and Ryan and Sabrina, take note – they had Shark’s Fin Soup on the menu.  No PC stuff here, but stay strong!

As I predicted, it was nearly 2:00 before we returned home.  To make up for it, I ended up working straight through 10:00 in the evening, concluding my night with a conference call with internal customers in the United States.

Condominium Search Update

This week Tawn and I have been moving rapidly towards the purchase of a condominium, a 70 square meter (700 square feet) low-rise on Sukhumvit Soi 53, one block over from Thong Lor.  While we haven’t signed the papers yet and there are still a few more hoops to go through, an offer has been agreed to in principle.

Potential house guests, don’t pack your bags quite yet.  But do stay tuned for more information.

This morning I resumed my Thai tutoring sessions after a two-and-a-half week interruption.  Thankfully my reading and writing has not suffered any and as I suspected, my speaking and aural comprehension are better than before thanks to my “All Thai All the Time” weekend.

Skyping (let’s make it a verb, shall we?) with my sister this morning, she related the story of what Emily, my 4-year-old niece, said when tucking her 1-year-old sister into bed this past Friday night:

“You have to get a full night of sleep, Ava, because tomorrow is a big day for you: it’s my birthday.”

Ah, kids.  Cute, aren’t they?

No sooner had I returned from the United States, then I found myself on a “very Thai” trip up to Lampang province in the north of Thailand.  Traveling with my teaching colleagues and Ken (Tod and Markus were unable to make it), we rented a 10-person van and set off Thursday evening about 7:30 for the ten-hour drive north.  I had originally been told it would be a 15- to 17-hour drive so you can imagine how happy I was that it came in shy of that.

The trip was “very Thai” in that I think Thais generally like the idea of going on holiday in a group, particularly in a setting where they will get to spend a lot of time with the rest of the group.  The idea of eight adults piling into a van for twenty hours of road time over the course of a two-and-a-half day journey – not to count the road time spent seeing the sights once we arrived – was undoubtedly an exciting one.

Contrast this to my trip six years ago to Italy with my mother, sister and brother-in-law.  Despite spending two weeks together, the days and activities will arranged so that there was time for people to pair off differently depending upon activities and interests, as well as time for people to “drop out” and be on their own for a while if they chose to.  This came close to my ideal of a vacation – all that was missing was an afternoon on a beach, and having Tawn there, too.

Left – Ajarn Yai hands some food to Ken during a mid-trip stop for dinner, about midnight in Nakhon Sawan province.

These passenger vans are great for many things, but sleeping on an overnight drive is not one of them.  Compound this with a touch of jet lag – I had arrived less than 48 hours earlier – and when we pulled into the yard of Ajarn Yai’s former boss’ house on the outskirts of Lampang at 5:30 the next morning, I was completely wiped out.

Some twenty minutes were spent sorting out sleeping arrangements that resulted in Ken and I sharing a room, he on a futon on the floor and I on a similarly-hard futon on a bed frame.  (Very generous of Ken to insist on taking the floor; a favor I hopefully repaid two days later.)  Finally getting to sleep about 6:00, I was under the impression that we would be able to get at least a few hours of sleep before we started out touring.

Ajarn Yai and the teachers freshened up and then sat around the outdoor table just below my bedroom window and caught up with Khun Prasong, her friend and former boss.  At 7:00 Ajarn Yai came upstairs to wake us up because they had already eaten breakfast and we needed to hurry or she would lose face to Khun Prasong since her farang guests didn’t want to eat the food. 

Above: Khruu Somsri, Ajarn Yai Phitsamai, Khun Prasong and his wife, Khruu Darunee, Khruu Aschara, and Khruu Somchai have breakfast in the outdoor breezeway of Khun Prasong’s house.

The breakfast was really good, khao tom, a watery boiled rice that is served with condiments.  In every respect a very typical Thai breakfast.  As the sun rose, Khruu Somchai, Khun Prasong, Ken and I walked through dozens of fruit trees on this 5-rai* plot, to the fish pond to feed the fish.

Left: Smoke from forest fires and land clearning gave us vibrantly colored sunrises and sunsets.

Our van driver, who already seemed a bit tired to me on our drive up, jumped into the front right-hand seat and guided us all over the province to see a variety of sights.  These included an obscure hilltop temple that is well outside the nearest village, has only four monks, and features an obviously-old chedi along with a half-built hall that contains a reclining Buddha made out of wicker. 

The temple is interesting from the standpoint of being very different from most temples I’ve seen.  At the same time, nobody seemed aware of any historical significance of the temple, so I had the sense that I was unable to fully appreciate it because of some missing context. 

Right: Wicker reclining Buddha in a decidedly industrial wihan (worship hall).

The concrete thep (Buddhist angels) were very interesting, as was a small pool of water lilies that had a styrofoam float in it on which was a small Buddha image with a naga (mythical 7- or 9-headed serpent) behind it.

Top left: Detail of a Thai thep guarding the temple’s chedi.  Top right: Posing with another thep on a bench overlooking the rice fields of Lampang province, many of which are now dry.  Lower: Detail of a foil-covered styrofoam float in a small pond of water lilies.

Following that we went to a waterfall.  The north has been suffering from a lack of rain the last few months, after having very heavy flooding early in the rainy season.  Because of this, the water was falling with less grandeur than usual, but I could see very easily where the volume usually was and it was certainly impressive.  On the bank of a pool there was a group of Lycaenid butterflies called the Common Hedge-blue Lycaeninae, all landing in the same area.  Crawling up very slowly, I was able to get this picture of them before they all flew away.

Top: Small gathering of butterflies on the bank of the river.  Lower left: Khun Prasong, Khruu Somsri, Ajarn Yai, and Khruu Somchai wait in the shade of a tree.  Lower right: I wait on the bank of the river.

After a lunch of khao soy, the noodles with curry soup that are famous in this region, we went into the province’s eponymous capital city and visited the Indra Ceramic factory outlet, home of the country’s best-known commercial ceramics producer.  Their rooster-emblazoned bowls are found in gwuaytiaw shops across the Kingdom. 

While I didn’t buy anything, I had some fun taking pictures of a pyramid of teapots, as well as a huge soup bowl into which you can climb.

Right: A large bowl of Chris soup.  Below: A series on the teapot pyramid at Indra Ceramics.

After returning to Khun Prasong’s house we enjoyed an amazing dinner that his wife had prepared including several northern-style specialties.  By 8:30, Ken and I were both in bed and fast asleep.  I can remember getting into bed but not more than ten seconds after that.

Sunday morning the troops were up and at ’em well before sunrise, planning on setting out for the return trip.  That’s right: drive ten hours up, stay twenty-four hours, then head back.  I think they had a few sights to see on the way back.  Ken had decided in advance to take the bus over to Chiang Mai to visit a friend and since I wanted to get more than twenty-four hours out of my ten hour investment, I decided to bus over with him.

Two bus, not air-conditioned but very well ventilated, was bumpy but comfortable enough.  We arrived in Chiang Mai only two-and-half hours later after being dropped off at the Lampang station by a tremendously accommodating Khun Prasong.  He made sure we got to the correct bus and was going to wait until it left but we finally convinced him we were okay and he could go home.

Left: At the Lampang bus terminal, about to board one of Greenbus Thailand’s less modern vehicles.  A series of articles in the papers this week talk about the high number of bus and van accidents and what should be done to solve the problem.  One of the suggestions: have some national standards and certification for drivers.  I’m amazed that there’s even a moment’s worth of discussion – it needs to be done, now.

Arriving by 10:30 we checked in at the hotel, the Lanna Palace, and then went walking to the old city.  The weather has been tremendously hot – 41 C / 106 F – and Thai meteorologists are predicting the hottest summer in thirty years.  It is supposed to end by mid-May, so only six or seven more weeks before rainy season arrives.  The old city in Chiang Mai is surrounded by a deep moat and with the hot weather it was the coolest spot to be. 

Many local children were playing in the moat, jumping from trees and, in the case of one teenager who was showing off for my camera, off the bastion of the old city wall.

Upper left and Lower right: Can you spot the boys about to land in the water?

We met Ken’s friend Gansit in the afternoon.  He had two friends from Khrungthep who were in town to complete some sort of vocational examination, so we were to meet up with them later.  In the meantime, we ate lunch, walked two or three kilometers to a market where we met his sister and brother-in-law, who drove us back to their house in the Chiang Mai suburbs.

Right: A beautiful flower I saw along the three-kilometer walk.

Their poodle had just given birth a week before to a litter and so the children were enjoying playing with the puppies, which looked like little stuffed brown sheep.  I was talking with the children and the 15-year old daughter speaks English fairly well.  The 10-year old son was too shy and so we just stuck with Thai.

Afterwards – and I realize this seems like a long story but it was a very full day – Gansit borrowed his brother-in-law’s truck and we drove out to Gansit’s new house even further out on the suburbs.  On a full rai, the house is complete but hasn’t been furnished yet and the landscaping has just been started.  While he is waiting to complete those things, he is living in a small two-room dormitory at his job at the Ministry of Labor.  This seems to be a pretty common housing arrangement for government employees.  In this case, though, another sister, brother-in-law and two children are living with him!

Paying back Ken’s generosity to sleep on the floor in Lampang, I spent an hour helping water the four-dozen trees that Gansit has planted.  This involved filling the large watering can at the tap then walking in the dark across the property to the tree, watering it, and then going back to the tap.  Ken manned the tap while Gansit and I traipsed back and forth.  I later suggested to Ken that a long hose might be a very practical housewarming gift for him to buy Gansit.

Left: Smoky sunset over Doi Suthep and a local wet market.

Returning to Gansit’s dormitory, we met up with his two friends, he reshened up and then we drove his father back to his sister’s house.  When we arrived, the family was just finished dinner and they invited us to eat.  While low key, it was a really good experience because I don’t often get to have dinner with a household of Thais whom I don’t know and don’t have any direct connection to.

In fact (Khruu Kitiya take note), while I spoke almost no Thai while in the United States, I think in the past 72 hours I’ve spoken more than I have in any consecutive 72 hours since I moved to Thailand.  Especially since Ken’s friend does not speak a lot of English, making me wonder how they’ve managed a 16-year friendship.  So I’m seeing my fluency and competence increase rapidly.

Sunday morning Ken and I headed out to a particular market to pick up some northern-style pork sausage that Tawn greatly enjoys.  It wasn’t too much of an adventure, but a little bit of one.  Within an hour we had two kilos of sausage, a bag of green chili sauce, and a bag of fried pork rinds.

Instead of flying back at 6:00 pm as I had originally planned, I headed to the airport early and was able to get on the 12:35 flight.  When I asked the agent if I could switch to the earlier flight, her only concern was that my special request meal (Hindu vegetarian, just for the fun of it) wouldn’t be available for me.  That’s right, the 50-minute flight includes a light meal service.  In this case, they were boxes with a shrimp salad, blueberry cream puff, tangerine juice, and water.  Coffee and tea were served, too.  In 50 minutes!  How far do I have to fly in the United States to get a meal?  Well, at least three hours and then it is only a snack box with junk food and I have to pay separately for it.  Yep, I think I’ll be staying here, thanks.

My flight back was to Don Mueang, which reopened last Sunday for “non-connecting” domestic flights.  This means that half of THAI Airways’ scheduled flights between Chiang Mai and Khrungthep fly into Don Mueang and the other half into Suvarnabhumi.  Yes, there is room for confusion.  Below: The girl in the row ahead of me stares, transfixed, out the window.  Then she realizes her picture is being taken and looks back.

Arriving in Khrungthep just before 2:00, I decided to try THAI Airways’ free shuttle bus to the MRT Subway station at Lat Prao.  A helpful agent told me just to have a seat in the arrivals area and he would get me when the bus arrived.  After about fifteen minutes, it pulled up and I turned out to be the only passenger using this service.  The driver did not seem surprised, so maybe the City Air Terminal idea hasn’t quite caught on.

Above: Touching down again at Don Mueang, with the mid-field air force golf couse still being used.

THAI has established a terminal at the Lat Prao station enabling customers to check in for flights directly at the subway station.  This was designed with two purposes in mind:

First, to help ease some congestion for passengers since the transportation resources to the old airport were shifter largely to the new one once Suvarnabhumi opened last September.

Second, to begin “conditioning” passengers in advance of the new airport express train opening in late 2008.  There will be a City Air Terminal located just up the street from our apartment at the Petchaburi MRT Subway station.  From there, like in Hong Kong, you should be able to check in for flights as well as drop your checked luggage off.

There’s one minor inconvenience with the City Air Terminals being connected to subway stations: the subway is conducting bag checks when you enter the stations and they don’t usually have any table or other space set up to make it convenient to open your suitcases for the guards.  You end up doing this on the footpath in front of the escalators, holding up the line.

Worse yet, all you do is just open the suitcase; the guard doesn’t actually inspect it.

Still, it represents the first step towards a more comprehensive linking of airports and transit systems, so I’m happy to support it.

*A rai, a Thai unit of land measurement, is equivalent to 1600 square meters or 0.395 acres.  In this case, Khun Prasong’s property is just shy of 2 acres.

After eleven days, four countries, and some 20,000 miles, Tawn and I touched down at Suvarnabhumi International Airport (thankfully, not at Don Mueang, which reopened Sunday to domestic traffic – funny controversy brewing here over the “best” Anglicisation of the Thai name “Mueang”) at about 10:15 Tuesday evening.

Picking up where I left off in the last entry, on Saturday we had a combined birthday party for my niece Emily and my maternal grandmother.  By this point most of our errands were run but I still had to go to the bank to deposit a few checks, so I asked Emily if she wanted to go with me and stop for hot chocolate on the way.  So she and I stopped at Starbucks, enjoyed cocoa as I read some books to her.  

Emily had a friend’s birthday party to attend Saturday afternoon so by the time her party began she was already in a crabby mood.  I find it fascinating to compare the personality of my two nieces, and to also compare their personalities as young children to the personalities of their parents at the same age. 

Emily is, without a doubt, proof of the principle of karma: her personality is a mirror of her mother’s at the same age and must be some sort of retribution for whatever aggravations she provided our parents.  She often cuts off her nose to spite her face and seems to be obstinate just for the sake of being obstinate.  Let me be clear, she’s a wonderful child and I leave her dearly despite the melt downs and moments of drama queen-ness.  She does make things so much harder for herself than need be.

After dinner – a pizza party where I made four different types of pizza from scratch including a pepperoni and black olive special order for Emily that elicited a refusal to eat it when she saw another pizza coming out of the oven with mushrooms on it – we went to the living room to open presents. 

For the past two years, pretty much as long as Emily has been able to talk, she has been fascinated with the jade that I wear around my neck.  The whole time, she’s told me that she wants one but in yellow, her favorite color.  So before this trip Tawn and I purchased a yellow jade pendant for her to wear.  Even the morning of her party, she had admired my jade and reiterated that she wanted a yellow one. 

So I was a little surprised when, upon opening the jade and being told what it was, she was disinterested in it and literally tossed it aside.  Before long, it was time for a special “mother-daughter conference” (above right) and Jennifer spelled out her expectations for her daughter’s behavior, under threat of present opening coming to a rapid conclusion.

In true drama queen style, the sober mood immediately gave way to joy once a bouncy ball was unwrapped, proving to be the favorite gift of the evening, right.  This gave way to more unhappiness a few minutes later around some other issue.

Thankfully, we got the presents unwrapped with a minimum of tears and were able to move on to cake, a pineapple-coconut freezer cake that is one of grandmother’s specialties.  If I had a larger refrigerator I’d make it hear as it is really an excellent, moist cake.  Maybe once we buy a condo I can buy a full sized refrigerator.

Now we couldn’t get a good picture with the first round of candle blowing-out, so I actually relit the candles so we could try a second time, producing this much better result.  I think it is hilarious how Tawn is looking at the camera!

Dinner ended early, by about 8:30.  Between having grandparents and young children – plus being in the American midwest – dinner is an early phenomenon.  Takes some getting used to as back in Khrungthep, Tawn and I rarely start dinner before eight. 

We spent a few hours finishing our packing, carefully balancing the heavy items so none of the four bags to be checked in would push the weight limits.  This was challenging because much of the things we were bringing back were weighty: magazines, bulk nuts and dried fruit, and some cookware.  Finally, I got to bed about 11, knowing that I’d have to wake up by 3:30 in order to get to the airport for our 6:00 am flight.

As happens way too often, the first flight out of Kansas City was delayed.  This time due to a mechanical problem on the regional jet, but there seems to frequently be an issue with the first flights: late arrival the night before of the crew, weather delays, flow control into Chicago, etc.  Our 6:00 was canceled and we were rebooked on the 7:47, giving us a 10-minute connection time in Chicago.  The agent rebooked us on the later connecting flight to Toronto, meaning that instead of arriving at 11:30 am we would arrive at 4:45 pm. 

Thankfully, we arrived in Chicago a few minutes early and our original Toronto flight was 20 minutes delayed.  Since our bags were still tagged for the early flight, we were able to get on board and even with the delay arrived in Toronto by noon!

Unfortunately, I didn’t make sure I had Alan’s mobile phone number with me.  The only number I had was his home number and I already knew he’d be out and about.  In the meantime, though, we met up with an airliners.net member with whom I’ve been conversing for a year or so, Kevin.  This being Tawn’s first trip to Canada, we met up at Tim Hortons, the ubiquitous coffee and doughnut fast food chain that some consider iconically Canadian.  In addition to having really good coffee and doughnuts, they have decent sandwiches, chili and soups.

Not having success reaching Alan, we walked around the Bloor and Yonge area, one of the main shopping areas of downtown Toronto. 

Not appropriately dressed for the weather, we were a bit chilly and found our way indoors whenever we could.

Thankfully, Alan made it home by 4:00 and we were just around the corner from his well-located house so walked over.  The cousin of my former roommate and high school friend Anita, Alan is the gay architect/designer brother Tawn and I never had.  Alan’s brother, Patrick, and his wife Daniella just celebrated the first birthday of their daughter Nathalie, so we had a chance to see her for the first time.  Unfortunately she was a bit under the weather so I didn’t get a picture.  Below, Tawn stops at a bakery-cafe to read the paper.

Above left: posing in Alan’s living room with the unfinished-yet-functional fireplace.  Above right: Themes in brown – Tawn and Dexter sit on the back porch.  Below left: the Royal Ontario Museum nears completion of its angular, Daniel Libeskind-designed addition.  Libeskind designed the master plan for the World Trade Center’s reconstruction.  Below right: dinner at Bistro Tournesol on Dupont Street.

Toronto has lots of fantastic little neighborhoods, lined with shops, restaurants, and theatres.  Toronto and Melbourne remind me of each other in various ways.  Below, despite it being a Sunday evening there were crowds outside the Royal Cinema on College Street for the 10th Cinefranco celebration of international francophone cinema.

While only a few hours long, we really enjoyed catching up with Alan.  Tawn decided that Toronto is on his list of places he would live in the future.  Good on you, Canada.

Monday morning we were out at Toronto’s Pearson International Airport for our nonstop flight to Hong Kong.  The new airport terminal (number one) is a very nice facility with lots of space and light and a roof that suggests the wings of a bird.  There is also a lot of public art, including the sculpture below.

It is a dynamic piece titled Tilted Spheres by sculptor Richard Serra.  It is so large that it had to be installed first and then the terminal was literally built around it.  The link above shows a picture of the sculpture sitting forelornely amid beams in the early stages of construction of the terminal.  More information on the artist is here.  A detail that cannot be seen in these pictures is that the sheets of metal have been covered with graffiti by airport visitors.  It wasn’t until I did some research that I discovered this article from two days ago in the Toronto Star that clarified that this graffiti was not intentionally part of the sculpture. 

I have to confess, I thought the graffiti was a part of the sculpture!

Our flight to Hong Kong was aboard Air Canada’s flagship Airbus A340-500.  This is a 15-hour flight, similar in stature to Singapore Airlines and THAI Airways’ 17-hour nonstops to New York from Singapore and Bangkok, respectively.  The plane, painted a light powdery green that matched Toronto’s weather quite effectively, was comfortable enough with on-demand video and two meal and two snack services.  Another inch or two of leg room would be nice, but I was determined not to sleep so that I would be able to sleep once I arrived in Khrungthep.

Fifteen hours provided me with plenty of time to kill.  Despite the surprisingly limited selection of movies, I caught up on several including Denzel Washington’s psychological thriller Deja Vu and Aardman Animation’s (creators of the Wallace and Gromit series) Flushed Away. 

There was also an electrical outlet in the seatback, so I was able to get about six hours of work done.  An internet connection would have been even better but, c’mon, what should I expect?  In the old days you got a movie on the main screen (well, still current days on United as some other carriers) and these days you can have on-demand audio and video.  Here’s a funny self-portrait taken by the light of my laptop somewhere over the north pole.

We arrived in Hong Kong at 3:00 in the afternoon, Tuesday.  Such an efficient airport!  We were through immigration in a hurry on aboard the Airport Express for a 24-minute ride to Central Station on Hong Kong Island.  There we met up with Tehlin, a university classmate of mine, and her 3-year old son Samuel and 3-month old daughter Isabel.  Tehlin’s husband Chris was able to join us a bit later. 

It was very nice to visit with them but I totally forgot to give her a Thai silk place setting that I had specifically brought with me on the trip because I knew I’d be seeing her!  It went almost 20,000 miles only to be forgotten as we left the Pret a Manger shop at the IFC mall.

Oh, well.  Guess we’ll have to go back to Hong Kong soon.  Not a bad idea since Allan and Valerie are in Guangzhou from Montreal to study Mandarin.  Since they’ll be there until June, maybe a trip back to Hong Kong is in the works.  

Now I’m back home.  Tawn, unfortunately, had to head off to Beijing on business with his boss.  Call time for the taxi: 6:30.  Poor thing, he’ll be exhausted tonight.

The trip to the United States has surely been a whirlwind: visiting friends and running errands, all day, every day.  This afternoon (Friday), Tawn and I finally decided we had had enough of the errand running and have decided that anything that is on our list, unfinished, will remain so.  No hair dye for that certain someone in Khrungthep who asked us to get it.

Let’s recap and expand on the first parts of the trip, then I’ll add some additional information:

In order to maximize our trip, which was award travel through United Airlines Mileage Plus program, I created a routing that included extended layovers in Tokyo, Toronto and Hong Kong in addition to our planned stops in San Francisco and Kansas City.  It makes for a somewhat tiring pace, but if I’m going to stop in a city where there is someone or something to see, I’d rather take the time and get out of the airport.

Leg One: Eight Hours in Narita, Japan – We arrived at Suvarnabumi Airport several hours early to find an incredible mess at the THAI Airways check-in counters.  A line extended from the check-in area between aisles H and J, all the way back to aisle B.  There were no customer service agents helping the line and the scene was rife with confusion.  I saw a small sign that indicated that Japan and Korea flights could check in at aisle B so while I waited in line, Tawn went to confirm that sign.

Sure enough, it was small but accurate, so we got out of line and made our way to the nearly-deserted aisle B.  Once through immigration, we stopped at an antipasto bar that is fairly nice to enjoy a glass of wine and some light food.  (below)

Our overnight flight aboard THAI Airways from Khrungthep to Tokyo was smooth.  The flight is only five and a half hours long and after an hour delay from our 1:00 am departure as well as the two additional time zones we headed to the east, we enjoyed only about three hours of darkness before the sun rose.

After arriving at about 9:00, passing through immigration and customs, we checked our carry-on bags at a left-luggage locker and took the train into the nearby town of Narita, for which the airport is named.  Narita is about 90 minutes by train from Tokyo, but only one stop from the airport.  A small down with a compact center located on a series of small hills, Narita is famous for its barbecue eel and a temple that dates back to around 700 A.D.

Here’s a picture of the main street of Narita, leading from the two train stations to the temple.  Notice the neon sign on the upper left – an eel!  Below that, Tawn and I in a little restaurant eating anticipating the eel that has just arrived.  Below that, two chefs prepare the skewered eels, alternating time on the grill with dips in the teriyaki sauce.  Finally, a detail shot of the eel itself!

We arrived back at Narita Airport several hours before flight time.  Basically, if you have 4 hours between flights, you could clear immigration, go to Narita, eat your eel, and be back in time to board.  If you have more than 4 hours, you’ll be in even better shape.  Try it, you’ll love it.

Despite having lost my 100K status with United after a year of minimal flying, we still were given lounge access, so we went to the brand-new ANA Airlines lounge, had some ramen, and showered in their ultra-modern shower facilities.  Afterwards, Tawn did some airplane yoga poses with the model of ANA’s new Boeing 787 Dreamliner, below.

Leg Two: San Francisco

Our trip into San Francisco on United Airlines was smooth, tempered with some lackluster (and occasionally downright unprofessional) service.  Enough so that Tawn and I are largely ready to leave UA behind and find a new carrier to fly.  Below, Tawn tries to get some sleep.

We arrived Saturday morning a bit before 11.  The trip through immigration was surprisingly hassle-free and our bags arrived pretty quickly.  We had a brief wait as Anita was heading back over to the airport from an appointment in the East Bay.  After she picked us up, we stopped by her house to unload our bags then ran some errands in the afternoon.  Most importantly we went to eat fish tacos in the Mission District.  We can’t get good Mexican food in Khrungthep.  Below, Tawn and Anita with a bottle of champagne bought at Costco.  Tawn and Chris enjoy tacos pescados at Taqueria Pancho Villa on 16th Street.

Saturday evening Paul drove us over to my aunt and uncle’s house for a St. Patrick’s Day dinner.  The entire family was there including all the cousins and their respective girlfriends, boyfriends and fiancees.  In addition, we had a small number of friends with us.  It would have been nice to expand the guest list, but I didn’t want to over-step my aunt’s gracious hospitality with an even larger number of guests.

Sunday morning Tawn and I were up early and went to the Ferry Building to have breakfast at Boulette’s Larder, a self-described mise en place for your kitchen.  In addition to being a little restaurant, they prepare stocks, soups, and other things that would largely serve as ingredients in a meal you’d prepare at home.

On Sunday morning they serve beignets, light, fluffy and totally non-greasy.  Last time I was here a year ago, it was Chinese five-spice.  Today is was sweet garam masala, an Indian spice.  Really good eats.  I’m actually buying an oil thermometer on this trip with the express purpose of learning to make perfect beignets.  After lunch we spent a little bit of time walking around the Ferry Building, which is glorious after its remodel.

Below: Tawn in one of the shops at the Ferry Building; Tawn with the beignets; Chris with the coffee; the interior of the Ferry Building on a sunny Sunday morning.

Sunday afternoon Anita drove us down to Lilian’s house in Sunnyvale and we had lunch with my High School friends.  This is the group of friends I’ve known longest – Brad, on the left in the picture below, and I have known each other since 3-year-old preschool.  It is always fantastic to see these friends as we’ve known each other so long and so well.  Hard to believe that Brad’s children are both older than he and I were when we met.

Above: Albert and Chris share some cake; Albert, Anita, Samantha and Tawn in the kitchen.  Below, Cara in the center of all the activity.

Finally, Sunday evening we had an “open house” at Sweet Inspirations dessert shop for a few hours.  Many friends stopped by including JC, Chris, Jackson, Dave and Monty, Howard and his mother-in-law Eleanor, Andrew and Amy, and Tony.  Additionally, we met for the first time a new reader of the blog, Jeff, who hosts a queer and questioning youth literary magazine/website called www.oasismag.com.  We were sorry that some other friends were unable to make it, but quite thankful to spend some time with those who did.

Monday afternoon we went over to visit Brad and Anne Marie, their daughter Sydney and their newborn, Harper.  It is always such a pleasure to see them and for a four-year-old, Sydney is tremendously sharp.  To the right, she and I practice writing her name in Thai, which she seemed quite fascinated about.  They were in Thailand two years ago and Sydney still has some very clear memories of that trip.  She is now advocating a return vacation there to visit Tawn and me.

Below, Tawn and Harper.

Brad and Anne Marie have conducted an extensive remodel of their backyard.  In an attempt to cover all the elements, it has not only earth and wind, but also fire and water in the form of a fire pit and a water fall.

There is a play area under the deck that includes padded playground covering, swings, climbing ropes, and other fun playthings.  Below: You can see Tawn and Sydney playing on the swings on the upper terrace in this picture taken from the lower terrace by the fire pit.

Below, Tawn and Sydney fight over who gets to sit in the pretty pink chair next to the lawn.

We split our time Monday afternoon, Tawn to Union Square (where he bought only one thing, a pair of jeans) and I to the 1000 Van Ness Theatre to visit the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival.  It sounds like things have been running okay there but they have had some teething difficulties moving into two new venues, since the Kabuki theatre is undergoing renovations as part of its new ownership by Sundance Cinemas.  I had a 17-minute visit with festival director Chi-Hui as we drove from the theatre to a meeting he had near the Castro.  But a worthwhile 17 minutes, I must say.

In the evening, Tawn and I had one final social engagement: meeting Jordan and his partner Wilford.  Jordan was introduced to me by another Xanga blogger, Tony, during last year’s SFIAAFF.  In the intervening year, he has been crowned Mr. GAPA (click on the link marked “Runway” at the top of the page) so now I know two famous GAPA people including Miss GAPA (Max Lau) from some ten or so years ago.

Anyhow, Tawn and I met up with Jordan and Wilford at Cha Cha Cha on Haight, a Cuban restaurant that is probably number one on my list of restaurants I miss.  It was a fun evening, getting to know them better and completing the circle of introductions.  Tawn and I have talked in the past about how much we really enjoy knowing a wide mix of people.  While we greatly value the friendships we’ve made with other Thai-American couples our age, we also like to know people of different age groups, different cultural backgrounds, and of course a mixture of gay, straight, bisexual, married, dating and single people.  It makes for so much richer an experience.

Making it an even more diverse experience: Wilford recently left the Air Force!  That’s not an experience we run into with gay men every day, but proof that it really does take all sorts to protect and defend the country.  Don’t ask, don’t tell?  Puhleeze.  I asked.  He told.

Leg Three: To Kansas City

We left way too early on Tuesday morning to fly to Kansas City.  This early departure was more than compensated for when we were greeted at the airport by my nieces, Emily and Ava.  Emily’s fourth birthday is next week and we’re in KC for an early celebration of it.  Ava just celebrated her first birthday and is remarkably mobile for someone so young.

Right: Ava and Emily welcome Tawn at the Kansas City International Airport.

The past few days have been spent visiting various family members as well as some of our friends here in KC.  Pat came over for dinner with the family on Thursday evening, when we brought home some barbecue from Jack Stack’s Smokehouse.  This would be another on my list of things I miss from the US, most of which revolve around the category of “food.”

We also visited Wednesday evening with Jak, a Thai graduate of KU who has been here for several years now.  Having dessert on the Country Club Plaza we also met for the first time his boyfriend, John, who as coincidence would have it was in the Marines up to about four years ago.  Yes, two military men in the past week.  What are the odds?  Perhaps higher than we realize.

Some pictures of our time with the family.  Below, family dinner at my sister and brother-in-law’s:

Above: Tawn and Chris read Emily a bedtime story.  Below: My mother (“Grammy”) reads Emily an afternoon book while relaxing on the family room sofa.  Emily really is getting a lot of literary exposure.

On Friday we went to the JC Penny portrait studio to take some family portraits.  It looks like they turned out okay and if you’d like a copy, let me know and I’ll have Jenn send you one.  Meanwhile, here’s a picture we took in the waiting room of Jenn and Tawn with the girls:

As I mentioned, this trip has been all about errands.  We’ve had a list two dozen places long.  The most critical are complete and the least critical will probably not happen.  Oh well.

I should mention that not all these items were purchases.  They also included things like going to the county election commission office to apply for a permanent absentee voter ballot, since I am no longer officially a resident of Johnson County, Kansas.  I do still get to participate in all elections at the County, State and Federal level, but not in local city elections.

Also, I headed to the automobile club to renew my international drivers license in case the Thai police need anything to use as collateral next time they pull me over!

Right, Tawn considers how to pack all the things we’ve purchased, which should just fill the space taken by all the gifts we brought with us from Thailand.

Tomorrow, Saturday, we have a combined birthday party for Emily and my grandmother.  Then Sunday morning we’re off to Toronto and Hong Kong.

Here is a series of four posters that the Ministry of Public Health have sent to schools throughout Thailand in order to educate students, particularly around issues of Bird Flu.  I think even if you can’t read Thai, you’ll get the idea:

In the lower left poster we learn about how we catch Bird Flu:

• First, mysterious black birds – foreigners! – poop infected poop from the sky.
• Then, our innocent local chickens eat the foreign bird poop.
• Our chickens get sick and poop and vomit green stuff.
• Then our children play with the chickens and catch the green stuff, too.

Particularly interesting, I think, is that the theme of green stuff continues in the upper right-hand poster.  If you follow the boxes from the upper left on the poster, you’ll see how the ministry explains the disease transmission process:

• First, little sister is sick and sneezes onto her hand.
• Then she holds hands with her brother so he gets her germs.
• He doesn’t wash his hand before eating food so he gets sick, too.
• Then he throws up or sneezes and his baby brother plays with the vomit/mucus and eats it.
• So the baby gets sick and coughs on mom.
• Mom gets sick and blows her nose with the dish towel, then dries a cup with it.
• Dad drinks from the dirty cup and gets sick, too.
• Et voila, you have an entire family down with the flu.

Friends, don’t let this happen to you!  Follow the steps in the upper left and lower right posters!