Exactly one week from today – 4:25 pm next Friday – I’ll depart Khrungthep for sixteen days back in the US. The last time I was there was in early October for Alex and Bill’s wedding. Is that a long time between visits? Maybe not. Roka just left this week for a month back in the US, her first visit in three years. That’s a long time.
There are many people I know who only get back home once a year or even less frequently. My feelings about how often I should return are shaped by my childhood. My father worked for United Airlines his entire career so we flew on employee passes. Lots of standby flights, hours and days of waiting for available seats, and lots of flying first thing on Christmas morning, Easter morning, Thanksgiving morning when the flights were less crowded.
Despite those inconveniences, we were still able to travel frequently. Unlike my other cousins (Alex and her family) growing up in the Bay Area, I saw my grandparents in Kansas City at least three or four times a year pretty much every year until my travel privileges expired after graduating from university. So for me not to go back and see my family at least once or twice a year seems pretty strange.
While back, I’ll make stops in San Francisco and Los Angeles. An opportunity to visit friends and additional family. Sadly, there are always more people to visit than there is time.
“Why don’t you come over for dinner?” ask friends who live in a suburb well outside of the city.
“Come stay with us,” invite other friends who are equally out of the way.
I’m thankful for such offers and wary of the time they will consume. It is nice to be missed and I love seeing friends again. I’m also on vacation and don’t want to spend all of my time in transit from one place to another, going from one appointment to the next.
Brunch – coffee – lunch – tea – dinner – drinks – repeat.
Some people are super generous. Curry, Paul, Anita – people who make my visits so enjoyable and smooth.
“Stay with me,” invites the friend who has a centrally located house and no expectation to spend hours and hours hanging out with me.
“Let me pick you up at the airport,” offers another friend who is willing to play chauffeur.
“I’m free then; let me be your tour guide,” insists a friend who has already gone out of his way many times over.
“Let me fire up the barbeque for you!” writes Bill.
I’m extremely thankful for these offers, too, because they make it so much easier to visit.
Then there are the people who are way too generous. ZSA_MD suggested I drive over to Quincy, IL from Kansas City so she could cook Indian food for me. I can’t even begin to tell you how disappointed I am that there won’t be an opportunity on this trip to do that. I mean, have you seen the pictures of her cooking!? It would be like taking the I-70 eastbound to heaven.
Then there are the people who can’t seem to be bothered. “You want me to drive all the way to San Francisco? Can’t you come to see me?” asks the friend who can’t be troubled to drive 40 miles even after I’ve flown 8,000 miles to be there. Oddly, if it is a Saturday night and he wants to go out and party, then the 40 mile drive is not a problem.
Sheesh.
Pics from last Sunday’s bike ride with Markus:
A dozen yappy pomeranians try to bark us to death.
Birds are hung out for some fresh air in a quiet neighborhood near Ramkamhaeng University.
I have a long list of things to do this weekend in preparation for the trip.
christao408 
You are very lucky to be able to go back to the States to see friends and family so often. Will you go by yourself or will Tawn get to come with you?
On another note, who has that many pomeranians??? That’s like a bad dream…
You said, “…the friend who can’t be troubled to drive 40 miles even after I’ve flown 8,000 miles to be there.”
Many people are self-centered though not everyone is.
Its really sweet that so many of your friends are wanting you to spend time with them… but there are always a few like the 40 miles; not everyone in this world can be nice and sweet, can they! lol
@TheCheshireGrins – Yes, I am lucky to be able to return so often. Unfortunately, the reason I’m going this time is because Tawn is accompanying his parents to a family friend’s wedding in Verona, Italy. (See entry on July 1st about Khun Sudha’s birthday to understand why I’m not invited.) So Tawn gets twenty days in Paris and Italy and I get eighteen days in the United States.
@choyshinglin – Thanks for your comment. Yeah, fortunately most people are very generous and willing to make the effort.
@Dezinerdreams – Yeah, I’m lucky that there are so many people back in the US who remember me… and actually want to ever see me again.
I run into the same issues when I visit family back in IL….I actually have an aunt & uncle that live on the same street as my parents (where we stay)…about 3/4 mile down the road….and they actually say they don’t have the time to come to me, but request that I come to their smoke filled, covered in dog hair home. No thanks.
I’m sure you’ll have a great time regardless….you’re not a pushover, so I can’t see you being bullied into making too many plans that you’re not entirely into.
I hope to see you when you come back at the end of the year.
Have a spectacular time!
Ah, you’ll have a wonderful time. I know exactly how you feel, not being able to see everyone. That’s what happens to me when I visit my original Pennsylvania home from my current Arizona home. I’m sure you’ll do just fine–maybe next trip you can see the people you can’t see this time. That’s usually how it works out for me. Have a lovely trip!
@deedee8370 – Wow, they can’t even make the 3/4 of a mile effort? And I thought 40 miles was bad.
@allthingsbarbara – Thanks for the comment. I’m sure Arizona was a bit of a lifestyle change compared with Pennsylvania. I almost moved to the Philadelphia area in early 2004; wonder what my life would have been like had I taken that path.
wow you live in thailand?! that’s pretty darn neat. what made you decide to live there? (sorry if you already mentioned this in your previous posts.)
Chris,
You would have very dirty lungs! When I fly to PA & walk out of the Phila. airport, I can hardly breathe. The air is thick, & impatient people are honking & making me nervous. When I come back and walk out of the Tucson airport I’m all smiles–the sun is shining, there are three enormous saguaro cacti welcoming me back, and I can see the whole parking lot from the airport entrance. This is home, even though I still have some of that rich Pennsylvania soil in my veins.
Well, my culture shock is nothing compared with what yours must have been when you first moved to Thailand. Are you a full transplant? That is, do you see yourself living indefinitely in Thailand? I love Thai arts and I’m really enjoying learning more about that country through your blogs.
My daughter (just married) lives near the ocean in New Jersey, and another part of me would love to live there–I’m a beach bum and adore the water. When she has children it’s going to be rough to be so far away from them, but Arizona is good for my health and wellbeing, so the compromise will probably be that I spend a month or so there in the summers and they’ll visit here as often as they can, maybe once a year.
But I’m rambling. Thanks for writing! I look forward to your blogs from California. Have a great weekend!
Barbara
yeah, im having a good time working in norcal right now. that’s cool that you get to travel all over. it’s my goal to do the same. and thailand… that is #1 on my list right now! i gotta get myself to thailand somehow some time soon.
@eat_napa – No worries about it being in a previous post – you’d have to read back several years to find it! My partner is Thai. After we spent about four years living together in the US, when his visa expired and he returned to Thailand, I decided it would be a good experience to move here, too. The rest, as they say, is my blog.
@allthingsbarbara – Culture shock is relative, I guess. The difference between the Tucson and Philadelphia airports sounds huge to me, more so than Bangkok and San Francisco! I do anticipate that I’ll be overseas for the foreseeable future and in Bangkok proper for at least another five years. At some point I’d probably like to spend at least some of my time living outside the city as it is a very intense city in which to live. There’s also the possibility that careers could take us elsewhere in Asia or Europe but nothing particular. Paris would be nice, though!
@MAXIMO – Max, I have no doubt that one of these days you’ll make it to the land of your ancestors! Meanwhile, enjoy your adventures there. It’s nice that you’re back to blogging regularly.
@christao408 – ah, yes, Paris! I’d love to rent an apartment there for a couple of months “in season” & go to the Comedie Francaise every night! See you there, aye? fHope you’re having a great weekend. 🙂
Hi Chris – I’ll be landing in Los Angeles July 29th. I really hope it works out for us to see each other! I’m moving there -rather than visiting – so I think my schedule will be a bit more accommodating to yours. hope to see you! aaron
Oh honey, I am so happy you are coming home to the US. I am leaving for Istanbul Turkey tomorrow and will be back home on the 24th. IF and only if youfeel like, please let me know, and I will be so happy to have you over here. I am glad that you are able to viisit home atleast once a year. I do not get that satisfaction. I think Tawn will enjoy Verona. I was there in ’97. Very beautiful small town.
Have a wonderful trip home Chris. Love and hugs.
wow it’s so lovely to have friends like that
@ZSA_MD – You have a safe trip to Turkey. Enjoy and take (and post) lots of pictures!
@absolutaaron – Aaron, the question was just “which city” and it sounds like the answer is “LA”. I’ll send you an email with my travel details.
@carpe_diem99 – That’s very true. I’ve talked with other expats who rarely go back or, when they do, feel like there aren’t many people for them to see.
@christao408 – I will do that. Wish you could come here to see the pictures. ( ’cause you will be here when I return. ) Sigh!!
It’s good that you get to visit friends and family back in the US. Is it a direct flight or do you transfer in Narita? So your dad worked in UA – that would explain your love of planes.
@ElusiveWords – Flying EVA Air so connecting in Taipei. Unfortunately, THAI Airways is ceasing its nonstop flights to NY and LA. NY is already gone and LA goes in September, replaced with a one-stop in Osaka. They are losing tons of money with fuel costs.
You have a great time here in California. You must be a good hearted person for so many people to want to entertain you, right? Take it day by day and prioritize what’s most important that you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t do or who you didn’t see while you are there. Most important, have fun!
@socaltransplant – Thanks, that is a really nice thing to say. Of course, I suspect that just about everyone would evaluate themselves as a good hearted person, so who am I to say differently? =)
Your advice is good to keep in mind. This trip is my holiday and I shouldn’t ruin it by worrying too much about who to see and what to do. Cheers!