Here’s an opportunity to make a difference.  There are many good causes out there and many ways to contribute.  One that I’d like to help get the word out about is the good work being done by Aaron and Tae, who are pooling their fund-raising resources to participate in AIDS Walk New York. 

One of the primary beneficiaries of the fund-raising is Gay Men’s Health Crisis, an outstanding organization with a three-fold mission: to reduce the spread of HIV disease; help people with HIV maintain and improve their health and independence; and keep the prevention, treatment and cure of HIV an urgent national and local priority.

In 2006, 39.5 million people were living with HIV/AIDS world-wide and there were 2.9 million deaths.  That’s 2.9 million individuals whose light no longer shines.

You can make a contribution to the cause in any amount, anonymously if you chose to do so, through the link on Tae’s website, where you can also see the progress that is being made in the fund-raising goals.  Thank you for your help.

Friday was Wan Chakri, a day commemorating the founding of the Chakri Dynasty (King Rama I) in 1782 A.D.  This was also the day that Tawn’s high school friend Bua, a Qantas flight attendant, was engaged to her fiancée Pom, a veterinarian who is studying to be a pilot, in a lavish ceremony at the Grand Hyatt Erawan hotel.  The ceremony was held in “The Residences,” the Hyatt’s conference room area.  The interior is absolutely beautiful, largely encapsulating the way that Tawn and I would decorate a home, so we snapped plenty of pictures of furnishings and took lots of notes.

Engagement parties are an interesting affair here in Thailand, an entire event in their own right that sometimes takes place on the same day as the wedding and other time occurs well beforehand.  Here’s a rundown of the basic process:

The groom arrives as part of a large entourage including parents, extended family, and friends.  They carry the dowry, which includes symbolic items such as bunches of bananas (representing many children), long dried noodles (long life), and coconuts.  Along the way, they encounter “gates,” friends and/or family members of the bride who will hold up chains (usually jewelry) that represent these gates. 

Right: About one-quarter of the groom’s entourage, waiting at another gate.

To pass by, the groom’s entourage must persuade the gate-keepers that the groom is worthy of the bride.  There is the opportunity for the exchange of witty repartee and joking, along with the paying of little bribes – err, token gifts.

Here’s the dialogue that Tawn engaged in with the groom’s Pu Yai – a respected elder (not the parents) who negotiates on the groom’s family’s behalf.  The groom is the one in the light blue tie, looking a bit fearful.  For those that know him, doesn’t he look a lot like Kelly Lim?

Pu Yai: Hello there, what is this gate?

Tawn: Hello sir, this is the golden gate that belongs to Bua’s close friends.

Pu Yai: Close friends?  So that means you will open this gate easily?

Tawn: I would think it would be the opposite way, sir.  You need keys to open this gate.  Make sure you have the right keys otherwise the golden gate will not open.

Pu Yai: Maybe one bag of money each would be enough to be the key to open this gate.

Tawn: Let’s try and see if you have the right key.

Pu Yai:  (hands small bags of coins to Tawn and Pim)

Tawn: Whoops, sorry.  That’s the wrong key.

Pu Yai: Okay, let me try one more, then.  (Hands another bag)

Tawn: Sir, we have two gate keepers so we need two more bags each.

Pu Yai: (Hands another bag)  This is the right key, then?

Tawn: Let me ask the other gate keeper.

Pim: (nods consent)

Tawn: Yes, please come in.

The number of gates will vary, sometimes kept by just one person and sometimes by two, but eventually the groom’s entourage is allowed to pass and will end up in a main room where the bride’s parents – but not the bride – are seated.

What happens next is that the groom’s parents, the groom, and the bride’s parents sit down for a discussion that involves the presentation of all the gifts, and lectures by the parents on the characteristics of a good marriage.  Of course the conversation is all symbolic and the decision to allow the children to be engaged is a foregone one.  However, it continues a long tradition.

Right: Trays of the gifts that make up the dowry are arranged in the room.

Once her parents are satisfied, the bride’s friends will escort her into the room.  In this case, when the master of ceremonies asked the bride’s father, “Well, what do you say?” after the final gift had been given to him by the groom, the father replied, “What can I say?  It’s already in my hands, isn’t it?”

The parents have some more microphone time and the groom and the bride exchange engagement rings.  The rings are handed from the parents: the groom’s mother gives him the ring to present to the prospective bride and the bride’s father gives her the ring for her fiancée. 

Quite often, this ceremony is actually shorter than the two hours it took Friday, and is held in the morning with Buddhist religious ceremonies immediately following and then a wedding reception in the evening.  In this case, Bua and Pom haven’t finalized a date but are planning on sometime at the end of the year for their wedding.

Following the engagement, the guests – some 120 people – sat down for a full Chinese style banquet spread between two rooms.  Alex and Bill and Ryan and Sabrina, take note – they had Shark’s Fin Soup on the menu.  No PC stuff here, but stay strong!

As I predicted, it was nearly 2:00 before we returned home.  To make up for it, I ended up working straight through 10:00 in the evening, concluding my night with a conference call with internal customers in the United States.

Condominium Search Update

This week Tawn and I have been moving rapidly towards the purchase of a condominium, a 70 square meter (700 square feet) low-rise on Sukhumvit Soi 53, one block over from Thong Lor.  While we haven’t signed the papers yet and there are still a few more hoops to go through, an offer has been agreed to in principle.

Potential house guests, don’t pack your bags quite yet.  But do stay tuned for more information.